conjure

I hadn't cried yet, I now realise, because I hadn't been alone.

I have been alone now.


Sam will never, ever, ever, ever be back.


He killed himself two days ago.


I will never again see him smile. I will never touch his hair. I will never again see him look down shy when he laughs. I'll never see him drift off, gaze out the window while he smokes his rollie cigarettes.

I will never again look into his deep brown eyes and see the wall. The wall I could never break. I tried, but I just couldn't wish him happy ...


And now the sad has won.


The sad won, and he is dead.

He's dead and he's never coming back.


There was nothing any of us could do.

I will never, ever see Sam again.

From now on, my life will no Sam in it.

No

Sam

in it.