conjure

Everything takes time, and life fluctuates for all. I've lost good people, all through my life, and I've come to the realisation that I can't hold onto them any more. I can, and will, take what I can from each situation and find peace in knowing that I am at peace, and my intention is for growth, and peace.

My time here, in this house, with no TV, no boyfriend, a minimal support network, and a lot of heavy tribulations and extreme amounts of self-time, has, as intended, sent me through a meditation and reflection on my life, the direction that I'm heading in, and most of all, towards figuring out what the most important things are to me, and how I can maneuver my way around to being involved with them.

I've been leading towards, and have finally stumbled upon the realisation that I'm not waiting any more. I have a position in the world, and I have a real life that is not in chaos, as I thought, not at all. It is entirely, universally, and continually, in flux, and completely stable, all at the same time.

- Friends. Forgive myself, others, forget, and deal with the reality that people can be beautiful, and nobody is even remotely close to perfect.
- House. I'm moving out of this secluded space a better person, a grown-up moving forward in life with nothing to lose, and everything to gain.
- Direction. I'm going to finish my degree, as slowly or as quickly as I need to. I'm going to take each day as it comes, and enjoy every moment for everything that it offers. I'm no longer going to wait for Japan, or Canada, or Sydney, or the bush, or my love, or the end, or the beginning. I'm no longer going to worry if my life is secure ... because it, despite popular 'live now' scare-tactics, it's not going to end tomorrow. And I don't need to live today like it's my last.

I'm going to relax, and appreciate the beauty of the world. Because so far .. in life .. I've been too worried about missing it, to stop and breathe it in. I've just deleted all my text messages, inbox, sent items and pictures stored. Time to stop living for what I can't have, and start appreciating what I do have.

In Summary:
"I am on the right path." (Thanks for the Positive Affirmation, Erin O.)

Thank you!!! Thank you thank you thank you, to everyone for being the most amazing friends that a girl could ask for.

To everyone who wrote on my SG page, on my facebook page, to you special renegades that took the time to visit my MySpace page! To those who sent Twitter messages, to the ones who txt'd direct, to the people that gave me hugs in the park, at Riverfire, and the after party, to the absolutely AMAZING international post box that I received from AcidEvangelist thank you! To my parents, for each three leaving a message on my phone for me to wake up to in the morning, to my brother for driving all the way north just to visit for a few hours in the night.

To my best friends, for all being there.

Thursday, Kirsty and I went to a Cocktail Party


Saturday was my birthday, shared with Morbidity, Rook, and Kathryn.
Graced with the presence of many a friend and acquaintance, this day, and the night that followed was one of the best day/nights of my life. Only a momentary cry (I cry every birthday, who doesn't?) though, very unusually, it was for reasons of *joy!* Not sadness! People came from far and wide, and left all their dramas at the door. That was my experience of the night, anyway I had the most wonderful time all the way through.


We four celebrants



Susan and I getting our rug on


Susan and Kirsty





The incredibly fantastic Zoe, and I


Singular failed attempt to twirl in park afternoon vicious winds


Morbidity, birthday girl snapshot



Thank you, a million times over, for hosting my party S_Eldorado. And for looking after me while I was fantastically hungover the next day.


Credit, and thanks to Tez I borrowed this photo.

Myself, and Lexiphanic


Not many pictures of the night up on the web yet. Will post when available.

...S_Eldorado ... I can has fotodump?