conjure

I met someone today.

A man. A snow boarder, a rally car driver, a nice guy, married, and ... a loosely categorised ... neo-shaman.

I'm pretty sure he's about to help me change my life.

I'm visiting his house next week for a chat, to talk about my hips, neck, spine, cancer, mental instability, life direction, spiritual black hole...

Maybe not all that.

But at least discuss his beliefs. I'm interested.

Little steps.

It's time to turn my life around.


--

My Tattoo

Until now, I hadn't told anyone this - my tattoo isn't just a pretty fish.
It's not just about my "connection to Japan" either, and it's really not as shallow as art.

It's something much, much deeper to me.

Water has signified fear, throughout my entire life. I avoid it. I boycott it. I speak about it's evils, I ferment stories about it's nasties, and manifest mental roadblocks about sharks living in things as mundane as spas and swimming pools. I would even, and this is not an easy emotion for me to reach, but have felt myself *hate* water, at times.

So, in light of this, I wanted to, and have, plastered myself in a glorified representation of the beauty of H2O; wrapped a projected tourniquet around the drought that has become my essential center. I wanted to make universal peace with and recognition for the value of water - something so, so close and special to my own life, the history of at least three of my parents, my heritage, my species and my physical, mental, and spiritual location.

Acceptance, discussion, and facing my own reality, I think, will begin growth and healing.

One day I also plan to make peace, through imagery in tattoo, with my lungs, my shape and to reconnect my mind to the physical.

I also plan, one day, to extend this image into the magical transformation from koi to dragon. Perhaps the dragon will be incorporated into my representation of 'air'?
Who knows.

The time will come when I do.