hola amigas! dude my tummy still hurts, but not as bad. i don't have class til 5:30 tonight, it's rad. but next term i have to load up more on classes cause my parents are bitching that i only have one a day haha. it's not as easy as they think though--to get a full schedule and stuff. classes overlap, they fill up, they get canceled. shit happens, and I, as a student, have no control over it. anyways that's all i gotta say about that i guess.
i'm sittin here wolfin down mushroom soup noodles, getting fatter by the second! yeah man... hehe. hopefully i'll get to talk to gabe today. i'm having a bit of an internal conflict with dating him, but maybe i should just talk to him about it instead of writing it here for the world to read... well i'll write it anyways. see, i'm real hesitant to let myself fall for him again, cause i don't wanna get hurt again. but the thing is, he seems to want to be really involved again and really close... so i don't wanna hurt his feelings and act like i don't care if i see him or not. to be honest, that kind of relationship makes me happy at this point. but then again it doesn't, just cause i have to be worrying about his feelings too. i care very much for him... i just dunno if i want to have a super-serious relationship with him again. at least this soon. but since i do care about him, i've been letting myself fall for him again and things are sorta going back to the way they used to be. but when i think now, "what if he left me again? what if someone else came along and he liked them more than me? would it hurt me, or could i just brush it off and continue to be friends with him?" the answer isn't clear, but every day that goes by, signs seem to point more and more towards -yes, i'd be hurt. so i dunno what to do. i should talk to him and tell him how i feel i guess. or maybe i should just go back to being all care-free and shit about everything. if gabe ends up going for someone else, so be it. i hope it makes him happy. in the mean time, i don't have to let it ruin our friendship, and i might decide to find someone else myself. so i don't know. i guess i should just stop worrying about it, right? i think i will haha. bye bye kimi, since you're my only reader.
i'm sittin here wolfin down mushroom soup noodles, getting fatter by the second! yeah man... hehe. hopefully i'll get to talk to gabe today. i'm having a bit of an internal conflict with dating him, but maybe i should just talk to him about it instead of writing it here for the world to read... well i'll write it anyways. see, i'm real hesitant to let myself fall for him again, cause i don't wanna get hurt again. but the thing is, he seems to want to be really involved again and really close... so i don't wanna hurt his feelings and act like i don't care if i see him or not. to be honest, that kind of relationship makes me happy at this point. but then again it doesn't, just cause i have to be worrying about his feelings too. i care very much for him... i just dunno if i want to have a super-serious relationship with him again. at least this soon. but since i do care about him, i've been letting myself fall for him again and things are sorta going back to the way they used to be. but when i think now, "what if he left me again? what if someone else came along and he liked them more than me? would it hurt me, or could i just brush it off and continue to be friends with him?" the answer isn't clear, but every day that goes by, signs seem to point more and more towards -yes, i'd be hurt. so i dunno what to do. i should talk to him and tell him how i feel i guess. or maybe i should just go back to being all care-free and shit about everything. if gabe ends up going for someone else, so be it. i hope it makes him happy. in the mean time, i don't have to let it ruin our friendship, and i might decide to find someone else myself. so i don't know. i guess i should just stop worrying about it, right? i think i will haha. bye bye kimi, since you're my only reader.