hehehe last night we drove 3 hours to go see the Pixies. When we got there the car overheated...then we couldnt buy tickets.....but the Pixie set was somewhat on a hill so we stood on rocks and the sidewalk and it was better then actually being in the gates...so we saw them for fuckin free. Theyre fuckin awesome live. I was completely fucked...my cold is getting worse..probably cuz I was out late in really cold air..ohhh wellll!!!

I found out today that my car needs a new intake manifold gasget...uugghh!! It has been a very surreal weekend ...to begin with...but then the dreaded happened this afternoon...my mum calls me and she was crying and I knew straight away what happened...

My nan passed away today from the worst form of brain cancer....
She put up one of the longest fights ever seen in a woman her age...she was diagnosed September last year and they gave her 3 months tops...she made it till today!! She went very painless and beautifully...she was holding my grandpa's hand and looked him in the eyes and said I love you for last time.... She is going to be missed so very much...

I got in touch with my brother finally...his flatmate hadn't told him anything and I had to break the news to him while he was at work....poor guy is going through so much and now this... I feel horrible and emotionally drained...

Someone once told me when I was younger...that I was a strong lil girl and I would and could go through many battles and struggles...and now I that I'm older I finally can look back and agree...

...but why do I feel so weak and helpless...