Only a man who sees giants can ever stand upon their shoulders.
I'm tired. I'm getting sick. I've spent the last couple of nights staring at spread sheets and punching numbers. I'm getting the hang of it, but it'll still take a couple more days to get this shit down pat.
A woman came running into my building the other day. I heard her from a block away. "Help! Help!" I looked up from my novel and saw her running up my lawn. She was being chased by two of the ladies from down the block. Her hair was pulled. She was kicked in the back. I didn't know what to do. I grabbed my bolt cutters (very menacing looking contraption) and ran to the door. "Fuck off!". That's all it took. The two whores turned and ran, around the corner and out of sight. The woman came in and was sick on the floor. She asked for an ambulance. I dialed, she talked. They said they'd send the police. It took them ninety minutes to phone me and ask what was up. "She spooked and ran to the DI."
Ninety minutes. That ain't right. No, that ain't right. I couldn't get it out of my mind on the ride home that morning. It's a rough neighbourhood. It's a rough life.
I've spent the morning packing stuff up. All I have is a stereo and some sweaters now. I'm almost broke and still owe $1300 by the first. I'm not too worried about that. Everything works out in the end. It always does. Somehow, the planets align themselves and I'm blessed with the gift of coinage at the most oportune moments. I'm lucky like that.
I hope this is all sort of coherent. I've had 4 hours' sleep spaced out sporadically over the past couple of days. I just can't bring myself to stay still for too long.
I haven't gone out in forever. I've been so distracted by work and my quest to climb the corporate ladder that I haven't had much time to catch up with friends. All I want is a fucking business card and a fancy raise and meetings in foreign fucking countries and schedules to keep.
I just found a bunch of old John K Samson tracks at the bottom of a drawer. These songs meant so much to me at one point.
By the way I got your letter yesterday, it said there's no need to be sad. It said that some tihings would never ever change, but that some already had. And I heard it from the corner of my ear how that voice makes things right. And I'm sure there's something more than memory across the Maryland Bridge tonight.
My god. That song was on every mix tape I made for a good two years. I listened to it almost every day, often on repeat. I can't believe I forgot about this stuff for so long.
... Well, not entirely. I remember when he played at Broken City 6 or 7 months ago and was doing everything on request... he never played a song that he released solo, which disappointed me a bit. It was all Weakerthans tunes and Propagandhi songs. Still a good show though. Still a good show.
I have to vote today.
I have to go to the Canadian Cancer Society on Wednesday.
I have to pick up flowers for Amanda.
I have to clean.
I have to move.
I have to sleep.