comaboy

I've been feeling low for the last coulpe of weeks and don't quite know how to get up again. It feels like nothing matters, whatever I do everything stays the same.. Work is ok I guess, it's hard but hey.. it's work right? The thing is I haven't got anything else but my training to look forward to in my spare-time. My friends have their lifes to live with school, families and whatever but I have none of that. When the workday is over I come home and then spends the night in front of the computer until it's time to sleep.

I miss the summer. Then I can ride my motorcycle or skydive whenever I don't have to work. The summer is my time of the year... all the other seasons sucks. If only I had someone to be with.. someone to spend time with everything would be different but that wont happen any time soon. Why? Because every time I think of my X my fucking heart pounds until I think it's about to explode.

I hadn't heard from her for about a year and then about a week ago she e-mailed me and asked me if we could meet and talk when she comes home from her journey. She's going to newzeeland for three months with her boyfriend. I'm afraid of how I'll react when we'll meet but it's probably a good thing to do it anyway, facing your demons and all that. The thing is really don't know if I miss her.. or if I just miss to have someone to be with. I guess I'll find that out if I ever meet someone new.

enough rantings for today..

Blue Skies...