coloreddreams

I'm numb today....

Backstory: My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for two years now...We finally broke down and went into the doctor's for some tests (we feared the worst for so long that it kept us from going in)...After many blood tests and such, my doctor called this morning....

I have quite a few things wrong...including a possibility of cervical cancer...I have to go in on Monday for more tests (intimate and painful)...

I cry every time I think about it...which is pretty often right now...

I've been researching it....the possibility is only 20-30%, but it's not 0....so I'm scared...very scared....

There goes the tears yet again...

It's not what a woman wants to hear...the possibility of never having children and the possiblility of having cervical cancer...

It's just not fair...I've never even had the CHANCE to get pregnant! Meanwhile, poor trailer trash can run around popping out children and living off welfare...and a set of loving people, with a great marriage, and so much desire...can possibly never get the joy of natural parenting...