colette

today today
more smoky treats..not my norm
and flourescent bevs

but no sadness and despair...
an exerpt if I please
and do I!

First a great quote:

"Smooth and smiling faces everywhere,
but ruin in their eyes."

---Sartre

Okay now some amusing
retro-youth inspired dramatics by Colette

Set the stage:
Kicked out of the house on my christmas vacation from second year in college because I was two minutes past my 2:00a curfew...it was blizzarding!

Diary Journal:
Funny. This is in Cleveland, but not really funny really because I really hate it. I'm living with Jamie. It is horrid. I twist . I die. I try to breathe but she is drowning me so easily. I thought she loved me. I thought I cared, but she grins so happily, grins with her open palm pressed so firmly over my mouth, my nose. Such a natural, sickish smile on such a beautiful face. Shall i be mundane? Speak of tired throbbing eyes? Reading Warhol? Smoking my eternally poetic Newports?
or shall I speak, write, express upon topics foreign, like...
raves...sex...beauty...life...death...little boys...dying girls?
a void purchase, and not just im my heart smile soul, my god I'm frigid and she only grimaced.
How can I be convincing? maybe I am just amusing as fuck. We tied up Sean and Lawrence to the futon and exploited each other and them. I made her breast bleed. We smiled in her smoky ridiculous Parma apartment giddy with fishnets baby oil candle wax cocaine popcorn.