colette

Yikes

more change
i don't like change
it unnerves me
whether it is good or bad

my superior at the publishing firm has given her 2weeks notice...she is off to be an editor at another magazine...

I will take her place...
this seems like it would be agood thing right?
more money, more control, more "titles"

except I am like a person who has learned to make microwave popcorn, and now is being told that she is the new chef de cuisine at the Ritz...

I am fairly hardcore and love to learn and enjoy a challenge, but I am a bit overwhelmed, because there is no one else here that has any idea how to do this stuff, but her...much less find half the files and know what to do with them, and make production schedules and what not...I am confident I can layout the magazines and get them press ready and what not, but we also do these film industry guides which are like 400pgs and the Creative Index!!!! Also a super huge super important publication...hundreds of advertisers in these things, not to mention alot of Database scripting is involved to get the information into the layout...

I am scared...
I feel like I have a surprise pregnancy
Something you always thought about,
just happened, and you are not quite ready for it.

I will try to be calmer today...and accept my fate.
plus I will miss her, I have such a difficult time relaxing around people, and she actually made work quite amusing, and didn't think I was weird for making randomn high pitched sounds when frustrated, or she would join me to smoke furiously and bitch, or break out in parodied songs...

I don't want to be in charge...not yet!
I still have so much to learn!
Yikes.