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coldie

Sydney

Member Since 2007

Followers 99 Following 192

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Monday Oct 15, 2007

Oct 14, 2007
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Rant alert!

You frustrate me. You don't talk to me about anything until it's a huge issue. You use words like "every time" and "always". You start as many fights as you can. But you never finish them. Perhaps you don't understand yourself, so you cannot believe that anyone else can?

But what is the point of existence if you are misunderstood by every other being on the planet? You could be the happiest, most beautiful person in existence, but if you do not try to share that beauty, what will be left when you are gone?

I don't go behind your back. If I just smile and let it go, I actually let it go, I don't store it away for later use. If you do something that hurts me, you're the first to know. I tell you because I respect you. I understand, and I want you to understand. I respect you enough to believe that whether you mean to or not, you would want to know if you are hurting someone.

You can call me immature. You can attack me.

But I understand. It's just how you see my words. You cannot deal with guilt. You don't understand that sometimes you are the bad guy. That's life. And I don't blame you. Nobody likes being the bad guy. But there really are times that you should feel guilt. When you wrong someone, you should feel bad, so that when you next have that choice you remember which actions lead to hurt.

Phrases like "sack up" bother me. I see them used under the pretense of care, when it's truly a lack of respect for yourself that brings that phrase to your lips. You do not respect yourself, so you cannot respect them. You do not understand yourself, so you cannot understand them. And it hurts you to feel this, because you know it's your choice. Pretending you care makes you feel better about being an asshole.

Communication, self expression, it's like walking uphill. It's hard. You get exhausted. Sometimes you need rest. But do it often enough, and the hills and valleys will no longer bother you.

When you choose not to communicate, you are walking downhill. It's easier at first. But you don't realise, it's just as hard. You keep walking down, and it feels easier, convincing you that this is the easiest way to go.

But eventually you'll find yourself at the bottom of the deepest valley. And the muscles you need to get yourself out will have atrophied.

When someone comes by, chooses to help you, shows you how to do it, gets you back to ground level, you get to choose again.

If you choose the easiest path, don't expect me to come down to get you again.
marysa:
i liked ur post...
It felt like it was a bit of my thoughs too....
People sometimes is difficult blackeyed and sometimes they seem difficult when they are not....
take care dear, hugs kiss
Oct 15, 2007

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