coldie

The suck Is loneliness. It makes me feel vulnerable.

I asked a friend (of maybe a decade now) if she wanted to have lunch on Friday cos I haven't seen her in months. Her answer kinda upset me a little, she was already taking the day off to hang out with her sister (my ex).

She said there was nothing weird because of the "ex's sister" thing but every time I try to organise something with her, she's busy. Or she just doesn't answer at all. It hurts. Maybe she doesn't want to be friends, but doesn't want to tell me. Maybe I'm one of those losers who can't take a hint. Maybe I should stop expecting other people to be honest.

Maybe I'm just paranoid.

Certainly I'm lonely.

And completely vulnerable. Tear out my throat, finish me off, please.