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coldandwet

United Kingdom

Member Since 2005

Followers 154 Following 183

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Sunday Dec 11, 2005

Dec 11, 2005
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I warn u now. Im feeling a bit miserable and the reasons are listed below.

River Island

*I hate the boring River Island work which never exceeds the excitement of finding you actually do have the size someone wants.,

*I hate the fact that everyone is so well dressed, have opinions on clothing beyond the price and generally consider that their makeup/highlights/jewellery is their biggest concern.

*I hate that the majority ask me to explain every word that slips from my mouth in excess of three syllables and that they all think I'm "weird, in a good way".

*I hate that I want to fit in and I dont. Nor shall I ever. I say the wrong things, walk the wrong way and just lack something I cant articulate

*Most of all I hate the fact I care

My friends

*When I started my drama course aged 16 I was determained to change from the chavvy tosspot Id become at school and actually be myself. I was prepared to be lonely and isolated for this purpose, but thanks to two people I wasnt. In fact I was loved for the first time in my life for who I actually was. Me. I hate the fact that those two people are only part of my life now through the telephone.

*I hate that I miss them more than they miss me. That they have found places they fit beyond our triangular friendship and Im still on the outside of every social scenario.

*I hate that my friends in Hull are really only mates. They dont know anything beyond my Cd collection, the football team I follow and my Halo prowess. That one aspect of my personality is all they see. Im the "crazy jew" - Im not jewish nor particuarly crazy.

*I hate the fact they bore me, but they do.

My Girlfriend
* Three years and I still dont understand what she gets from our relationship. She is unable to explain either. Im certainly not catch of the day nor is she having to fend off the competition. I could write a 5000 word essay on her merits but I think she'd strufggle to do a half a page.

Me

* I hate that I feel this way at the moment
* I hate that Im not more witty, more toneful, less nasal or better at football.
* I hate that Im writing it here - I dunno what to expect anyone to say, I guess most of you are thinking what sort of self involved twat bemoans having friends a job and girlfriend. I dont know.

Im just feeling a bit empty. Ironically I dont actually feel hate about any of the above. Just mild indifference. And that I think is whats really worrying me.

Surely its not normal to feel indifference to your own life. Is it?
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
severity:
I lack every social skill that exists. I think more people than you'd imagine feel mildly indifferent to most things in their life. I know I do a lot of the time!

Anyway, thank you for the comment but iiick, I hate the set.
Dec 13, 2005
munch:
oh dear oh dear mister andwet...

i'm not in some secret club to seek out obscure bands...

i'm a little shocked that some of the bands i see you consider to be obscure... shocked

there lies a problem though - music/bands/gigs are my life, and i read the NME and Kerrang too.
if its something that you are into and love and are obssessed by, then you manage to seek the decent bands out...

buying Kerrang and NME is a good start - showing you who to STAY AWAY FROM!! tongue
Dec 14, 2005

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