okay, through recent tribulations I have stumbled across the cure for the common cold...
this will only work if you do not live anywhere NYC... maybe a similar situation in some large city you are unfamiliar with will work.. so here's how it starts...
you have to be as unfamiliar as possible with these areas, and with large cities in general... so, start by getting a hotel room in Union City or N. Burgen, NJ...
also, only have about $10 with you.. and wander away from the hotel trying to find the cheapest way you can find to NYC... get on one of those short buses that'll take you to Port authority bus terminal in NYC. find the nearest stairs down to the subway...
you can find a map on the wall down there... find central park on the map, then find the Metropolitan Museum of art which is halfway up oneside of the park...
do all this on a fairly cold day, but not quite freezing, around 34F... don't take the subway, don't take a taxi... walk the few miles to the museum. for the duration of your stay in new york, you'll also be fasting.. no food, no water. you'll save money that way, and won't have to use the bathroom.
so, get to the museum. spend hours looking at things and take 96 digital photos of things from angles most people don't bother looking closely at... the articulations of the feet on suits of armor, closeups the armors' codpieces from the front and in profile, same for the mempo, and detailed shots of roped edges on maximilian style armor.. from a foot away, stare for half an hour at a forged iron gate.. get good pics of the back of tiffany glass panels.. take pictures of whatever else you might wish you had pics of later...
stay in the museum for at least 8 hours, help people who don't speak much english try to figure out how to turn off the flash on their digital camera, wander in circles trying to find your way out of a gallery, then leave when you are ready.
head back the way you came, but end up taking at least three times as long to find the bus terminal again... find a shuttle bus that says it's going to the area in NJ where your hotel is, but get taken somewhere else instead, then it'll take two more tries with the short buses to get near the hotel.
now that you're out of NY you can end your fasting... eat something, anything really.. the important part is that you drink a cup and a half of water from the bathroom tap. it'll do wonders...
withen twenty minutes the contents of your bowels will liquify. several hours later the vomiting will begin. do not get any sleep because your legs ache from walking all day, and for some reason every other muscle in your body hurts as well. no sleep will be had this night, but you can make up for that later.
the next morning... four minutes before you have to check out of the hotel you should make it into the bathroom and expell every last bit of sickness left in you with one great finale of simultanious vomiting and diarrhea.
sleep for ten hours on the way home, then sleep for another twelve hours once you get home... and when you wake up, if you've done all this just like I said, with the right conditions, you'll wake up feeling better than you've ever fealt in your life.
yep, that's how to get rid of a cold.
I hope to try it again soon, but without the NJ water, the fasting, or the confusion over short buses... but I gotta leave in the walking, the museum, and the getting mildly lost part.
this will only work if you do not live anywhere NYC... maybe a similar situation in some large city you are unfamiliar with will work.. so here's how it starts...
you have to be as unfamiliar as possible with these areas, and with large cities in general... so, start by getting a hotel room in Union City or N. Burgen, NJ...
also, only have about $10 with you.. and wander away from the hotel trying to find the cheapest way you can find to NYC... get on one of those short buses that'll take you to Port authority bus terminal in NYC. find the nearest stairs down to the subway...
you can find a map on the wall down there... find central park on the map, then find the Metropolitan Museum of art which is halfway up oneside of the park...
do all this on a fairly cold day, but not quite freezing, around 34F... don't take the subway, don't take a taxi... walk the few miles to the museum. for the duration of your stay in new york, you'll also be fasting.. no food, no water. you'll save money that way, and won't have to use the bathroom.
so, get to the museum. spend hours looking at things and take 96 digital photos of things from angles most people don't bother looking closely at... the articulations of the feet on suits of armor, closeups the armors' codpieces from the front and in profile, same for the mempo, and detailed shots of roped edges on maximilian style armor.. from a foot away, stare for half an hour at a forged iron gate.. get good pics of the back of tiffany glass panels.. take pictures of whatever else you might wish you had pics of later...
stay in the museum for at least 8 hours, help people who don't speak much english try to figure out how to turn off the flash on their digital camera, wander in circles trying to find your way out of a gallery, then leave when you are ready.
head back the way you came, but end up taking at least three times as long to find the bus terminal again... find a shuttle bus that says it's going to the area in NJ where your hotel is, but get taken somewhere else instead, then it'll take two more tries with the short buses to get near the hotel.
now that you're out of NY you can end your fasting... eat something, anything really.. the important part is that you drink a cup and a half of water from the bathroom tap. it'll do wonders...
withen twenty minutes the contents of your bowels will liquify. several hours later the vomiting will begin. do not get any sleep because your legs ache from walking all day, and for some reason every other muscle in your body hurts as well. no sleep will be had this night, but you can make up for that later.
the next morning... four minutes before you have to check out of the hotel you should make it into the bathroom and expell every last bit of sickness left in you with one great finale of simultanious vomiting and diarrhea.
sleep for ten hours on the way home, then sleep for another twelve hours once you get home... and when you wake up, if you've done all this just like I said, with the right conditions, you'll wake up feeling better than you've ever fealt in your life.
yep, that's how to get rid of a cold.
I hope to try it again soon, but without the NJ water, the fasting, or the confusion over short buses... but I gotta leave in the walking, the museum, and the getting mildly lost part.
azrael_abyss:
This has nothing to do with your journal, but I was looking at the pics in the crafty group and I was wondering if you had a website or something where you sold your artwork? If this has been asked by others and I'm out of the loop, I'm sorry. Your stuff is just fucking awesome!