cogito_sum

I need a new look, I need to find a new image.
Earlier today I was watching TRL and they did this little segment/competition of how guys going through breakups and who seems more pathetic then who. One dude hasn't shaved ever since he had broken up with his girl and his beard of shame reminds me of my hair, my hair of shame.
I don't know why I let it grow ... some have said I look better with long hair
and granted, I love it when fingers run through my hair...
but I begin to realize who do I grow my hair, and how long has it been?
Unlike the Buddhist culture where men and women shave their head to bring forth a new beginning, I don't.
I'm petrified of seeing myself bald, especially with my round and large body, mite as well call myself the reincarnate Buddha for that matter if I ever choose to do so, but I don't foresee myself doing that in the near future.
But, I do want a change though...
I want to perceive myself the same way as the mental image I imagine myself as pictured in my head.
Cold steel through warm flesh, art inked upon my body ... shorter hair, but not short enough to where I lose that sensation of having someone's fingers being run through my hair.
I'm ready for that metamorphosis the transformation, but I then wonder... when will those piercings, those tattoos yet be another mourn symbolism, can't I just be another fashion cliche cause for me, it's too late for me to lead the heard, so I must follow them.
And maybe one day I might burst from my cocoon, dry from all the emotions that has washed over me, and feel the content of warmth and appreciation I have for myself.