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coffeelove

Home is where the heart is

Member Since 2009

Followers 170 Following 177

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Wednesday Nov 03, 2010

Nov 3, 2010
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I'm become more and more attracted to the idea of an open relationship, polyamorous or whatever you should want to call it.
I do believe in soulmates, love, all that jazz but I also know that at some point.. you meet someone that will make you feel like you've been punched in the gut. Just pure, raw, overwhelming desire.
Or maybe not even that. Someone that draws you in, fascinates you, someone you want to know and feel every inch of.
And as the faithful girl I am, I don't act on my feelings. I don't cheat on the guy I love.
But I start to imagine how things would be with this other person. What does she taste like? What does he feel like on top of me? Is the grass greener?
Until I've imagined I am in love, which is probably very far from the truth. Infatuation and love are two very separate feelings in my world.
I can love the guy I'm with so much that it feels my heart will explode but it doesn't mean I will never look at another man and not feel lust, desire.
Is it so much better to break it off, to be with someone who might just be a great fuck but nothing more?
Isn't it possible to love several people but still only be with The One? Idk.
I'll find someone to test this theory with.
I might be too jealous to be in a open relationship, or when push comes to shove, might not be into it at all.
Still believe that one of the best compliments ever was from someone who said he loves me even though I would probably be with other men if I was his wife.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
wingzephyr:
during the 8 years i was with my ex-there was another woman i loved with all my heart. she and i met here on SG about the same time my ex and i met and we clicked like a light switch. over the years our love for each other grew and grew. the two of us discussed why things would be like if my relationship was open or if my ex and i were a poly couple. i personally believed i could be in such a relationship because despite my feelings for my friend my feelings for my ex never diminished. i would fantasize about being in a relationship where i could be with them both.

but tragity and her own short comings killed my relationship with my ex and my friend and i have become involved now. i don't have the open relationship desire anymore. i think it simply boils down to what you want in your heart. what do your dreams and unedited desires tell you? i think your answer lies there.
Nov 4, 2010
lestrange:
thanks hun!

i guess i am just still dealing with everything as much as i can! last night was a BAD night... and being hormonal made it like a billion times worse! it was like my head and my heart were fighting and no matter who won it was going to be a bloody battle!

but things get better.... right? they are getting better.
Nov 5, 2010

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