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cockzombie

SoCal

Member Since 2006

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Friday Jun 27, 2008

Jun 27, 2008
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There comes a point in time where you have to take inventory and ask yourself, "why am I single?" I'm sure a plethora of answers come to mind, common ones being "I'm fat", "I'm not attractive", "I'm too shy". I ask you to push yourself to the limit and be honest. Read this blog and instead of being judgmental, think about yourself.

Right now I have 2 empty rolls of toilet paper on my bathroom floor. There is a bag of puffed cheetos next to me. I can't have a passenger in my car right now without them having to step on something (mostly junk). Something in either my fridge or freezer smells like death and I can't figure out where it is coming from, and I haven't done the dishes in a week. Hot right?

That is the REAL reason, I, Karen Santana, am single. I have issues to deal with within myself that bug me, that I want to work on before I get involved and they become a problem for someone else. I also don't really WANT to work on these things right now, so that solves that.

Where am I going with this?
We all have within ourselves a reason that we are single. We are single by our own hands. Even if I weren't a slob, the reason I am still in this 250 lb body after 5 years of being a lard ass is not because I can't lose the weight. We need to quit thinking that we can't do it. I know that at least one of you reading this knows not only that I can do it, but that you can do it as well.

Is being in this real life 'fat suit' a device of my own choice? Perhaps I am protecting myself from future hurts by keeping myself locked in this. By making people work harder to see myself as I do, I protect myself from those who would have previously seen me as prey. Is 'large and in charge' just a facade?

This could be the most elaborate excuse to maintain an unhealthy weight, or I could be onto something. Maybe a little of both. But by becoming more self aware of our faults perhaps while we are idle and single, we can work on things that would be potential problems in relationships. Maybe for every 30 minutes I spend whitening my teeth, I could you know, mop a floor or something.

This has been a public service announcement on behalf of singles everywhere.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
elizagirl:
this blog is fucking great.
Jun 30, 2008
dinah:
Hmmm...I think it's a little of both. But this is one of the most important lessons...you can do it. It's the motivation that you must keep.
Jul 1, 2008

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