cockzombie

So I decided it was time for me to come out of the preverbial closet and get all emo on you all with some junk about my patriotism, just in time for 4th of July. Lets start with some background...

I was in the Army from 2001-2004 and I loved every minute of it. I got out because Hector and I were both in and I didn't want us both to be deployed and have to leave Barley here alone with his grandparents. I sometimes regret getting out- but I do all I can still to benifit those who are still in. I joined because I was too scared to go to college. I had got a $10,000 scolarship to Adams State College in Colorado to play my clarinet. I am not good at school. So one day on my way to work the Navy recruiter called me and wanted me to talk about playing in the Navy Band. Seemed like a good enough idea. I went to talk with her- and picked the Navy because she looked so cute in her White Dress Uniform. Unfortunately- she forgot about our appointment.

I went next door and asked SFC Macom when Heather (the Navy Recruiter) was going to be back. Of corse he didn't know- or if he did he didn't care. He intorduced me to SSG Core and SSG Butler and boy were the SSG's hot. Damn!! So I stayed and talked with them and SSG Core showed me that he made the cover of the Army times on his horse (he was a cav guy) and they all tried to get me to join. I stayed around to bask in their presence, but had no interst in the Army. It seemed so...

Dirty.

1 month later SSG Core was driving me to El Paso for my audition with the band. They had done me no favors, as at this point I had yet to learn military rank and how to address officers. So I must have sounded like a retard talking to the interviewer. I played and did well, and I got an offer to join the Army band, however I needed a secondary MOS.

MEPS comes around and I had lost 18 lbs. I made the total 23 lbs by taking exlax and sitting in the sauna all night and refusing to eat or drink before my weigh in. Very unhealthy. There I told them I wanted a job where I could wear my Class A's and sit behind a desk. No shit- this is what I told them when they asked what I was interested in. They explained that I scored high enough to have any job I wanted as a secondary- and not to worry- I would hardly ever use it. Then I was told about 14J- Air Defence. It sounded like something I had no interest in. They told me- dont worry- you will be sitting in front of a computer all day, and you will get a security clearence which will come in handy later in life. Sit in front of a computer? What about those missles in the training video- I thought to myself... Oh those are what the men are doing- dont worry about it. And hey- how about $10,000? well shit then, ok!

So I get in with my recruiter to drive back and he asks what I picked. I showed him my contract and he got pale. I should have know right then. I got home and went to goarmy.com to look up my MOS to show my parents what I would be doing... But wait. Why does this say closed to women? huh? I call up my recruiter and he says I dunno.

9:30 AM, Sept. 11, 2001. I am hung over and tired from my 19th birthday celebration the night before. My mom comes barging in yelling about how they are attacking america and we are alll going to die or something. I ignore her. Crazy woman. I crawl out of bed around 11, take a shower and get in the car to go to the recruiting office. I dont turn on the radio because I have a headache. I get there and there are 3 rows of government vehicles blocking all the good parking to the station. Son of a bitch- I think. Why cant these lazy assholes park in the back- I think. I get inside and there is SSG Core and SFC Reid in civilian clothes listening to a radio. I ask- "What the fuck!?!" "Why are you in civilian clothes and move your damn cars- I had to park in buttfuck nowhere". They look at me stunned. Don't I know what is going on? Noooooooooooo

Fast Forward. SFC Macom loses command of the recruiting station for taking me to his house in his POV. SFC Reid become station commander and he is a 14T. He explains to me the history I am about to make- and also that I will probably never get to play with the band. I ship out for basic.


I left for Basic training the day before Thanksgiving. The Albuquerque Journal did a story on me, and how I was leaving before the holidays to make history as the first female in a combat arms MOS- right here in NM! How noble of me, right after 9-11. Didn't I know we might go to war? These were the thing that were said- everything was such a lie to me. I joined before 9-11, that just happened, you know? I didn't want to in combat arms- I still didn't know what that meant. I left on that day because that is when the Army said I was leaving... Oh well.

At reception in Ft. Leonard Wood, Mo. on Thanksgiving day I found out it was customary for the highest of the chain of command to serve the food. So I had the TRADOC Command SGT Major serving me turkey in his dress blues and the Lt. General giving me gravy. Surreal.

We took 'cattle cars' to basic- and for anyone who doesn't know they are what they sound like. you pack recruits in there like cattle and they have those little windows. I got out and cayos ensued. It was interesting to see peoples reactions. Some were crying- some were panicking, some were just standing there like idiots. The Drill Sergeants got us all in 'the pit' and we stood as the Commander told us about what we were about to be doing. The holds from the cycle before (the ones who didn't graduate last time) were in the window of a bay snickering at us and watching. I think I remained expressionless, I was never one of the kids who got a drill Sargent in their face that day. It wasn't that hard- it was all mental. And it seemed to me like what was going on around me was all happening on mute.

Throughout basic training I would stay up 20 minutes past lights out to write in my journal and read my scriptures. This was a real hard thing to do- not only because it was against the rules- but because we got little sleep as it was.

A journal entry for basic:

1/06/02 I dont hate it here quite as much today. But I am dreading tomorrow. Today went well, I just have to re- learn to count my blessings and re-evaluate what my blessings are. DS Gosley wore a smile today and we did aerobics and listened to music today instead of plain old smoking, a pleasant surprise because I got my wall locker trashed last night by the battalion commander. A good day- I felt the spirit with me at church today and I dont think I have ever felt it quite like that.....

We were allowed home for Christmas exodus. We left on the 20th of Dec and returned on the 2nd. I was nice to have that time to think about what you are doing, but it was hard to have basic chopped up like that. To be a civilian again for those 2 weeks and then return to a rugged training environment was a hard change. I graduated basic training on the 13th of Feb 2002. I was one of only 3 who got a 100 on their written skills and shot expert on their M16.


Ft. Bliss TX

I get off the airplane at the El Paso International Airport and go to where all the kids are waiting for the bus to pick them up and take them to training. I left basic with a friend, a battle- Abigail Edwards. She used to be a stripper in Kansas City, stick thin, red hair and she was loud as fuck. We met up with some recruits who had just finished up at Ft. Still, and boy, were we happy to be able to talk to men without getting into trouble. There he was- with his BCG (birth control glasses) and his high and tight. The man that 8 months later I would be disappointed with his penis size... Daniel Larubio. But I digress...

DS Red comes to pick us up in a school bus painted white. He was one of my favorites throughout training. We got to the unit around 0130 in the morning and had to inprocess. We were hoping to have time to sleep- recover for the next day, but as soon as we were settled in, the light of the newfound morning was upon us, and our first full day of Advanced Individual Training had begun.

It was Saturday- we did PT. a typical dat at AIT was wake at 5:30, get ready, do PT, shower, Eat Breakfast, school, lunch, school, dinner, mail call, get smoked, wax te floor, go to bed. At least in the beginning. I got used to life there quickly- and was happy with my choice to join the army. My class was made up of 20 students, and there were about 10 classes going at the school. There were only 3 female students, and no female teachers. We caught a lot of flack in the beginning about our career path, but eventually we were encouraged both by the teachers and the drill sgts to become honorable, respectable females and lead the way for others in the field. I never felt more hooah! then in AIT- where everyone believed in our potential to change the army.

We were switched to a night schedule about 2 months into our 6 month AIT. Instead of the schedule I posted up there we did the following: 5:00 wake up, get ready, do PT, sleep, go to breakfast, do more exercise on our own, whiten teeth, curl hair, take showers, lunch, class, dinner, class, sleep. We never had to deal with bullshit in the barracks, we hardly ever got smoked, we had a ton of freedom and we loved it. Abigail and I were the only 2 girls in the entire battery who had night school- so the Drills never really paid much attention to us. We actually worked out with them during our second workout of the day.

Lines got blurred. We were talking more freely then other recruits to the Drill Sgts, we were the only females and Abigail had her eye on most of the men in our class. So as to not step on her territory, and because I like the challenge of the hunt, and didn't know any better, I developed a crush on one of the instructors. Someone should have said, NO! BAD KAREN!! But there was noone for me to count on for that. I had a thing for my high school band director senior year and it was never a huge problem, until the principal suspected something, but that was long ago and another blog to write.

He (the band director) quit the year after I graduated, only to have taught high school band for one year. He came to visit me at AIT once- and the girls in the barracks went crazy. He took me out on pass, on a weekday to dinner, and walked with me around the battalion basketball courts (how sweet). This is important in this story only to see my line of thinking.

SSG Carr was a 36 year old man with bifocal glasses and roseacia. He wasn't very tall- or handsome by society's standards, but I had a thing for him. He wasn't my teacher, but one at the school. It was kind of a running joke my teachers played on getting him to come in a sub for a couple of hours, if only to see me squirm in my chair and blush the whole time. Everyone knew. Then one of my teachers had to change classes, and guess who was stuck with ours? That right. SSG Carr. The soldier in me screamed FRATINIZATION at me every time we spoke, but the girl in me said go for it. My plan was to woo him and when I graduated, fuck his brains out.

Eventually I was talking to him on break, and we were(I guess) openly flirting. The other NCO's in the school thought it was funny, and of corse, due to the lack of ::ahem:: pussy in the school, they were slightly jealous and egged it on. The straw that broke the camels back was me editing his WO packet and ensuring it said all the flattering things it should. Someone found out I was in the office with him alone, they didn't care what we were doing, as this broke the rules.

The next day I had to go with Abigail to the ID cards place because she lost hers. She was in the bathroom, and while I waited, in came SSG Carr. He and I were talking outside as he smoked a cigarette, and about 10 minutes later, I saw my DS in his POV, and he noticed me, outside, with him. Rumors swirled. And this was the beginning of the end. He got a letter of reprimand. Some of the people in my class complained that I was getting a better grade then them because I was fucking him. Someone 'saw' us in his car, etc. etc. Then CID investigated him and I was told he told them that he wanted to fuck me. I was shocked. Was this man so stupid to admit that!?!

I was made an example of. There were battalion formations about what not to do with your instructor. I was taken into the battalion commanders office- and I stood up for myself though it all. Luckily nothing bad happened to SSG Carr, or myself. But the people who knew me, some of the instructor and DS Red knew that I was just me, and it caught up to me this time. I still keep in touch with a few of those instructors to this day. But SSG Carr I stayed away from like the plague.

I was the first in the school to take my final all by myself. The way it had been done- was in groups of 5. Someone got the radar going, someone grounded the generator, someone did the ADSI, and so on and so forth. But to prove to the other instructors, my classmates, and most importantly myself, I asked to do the final by myself. No team, no help. And I did and passed, and the headmaster saw, and from that class on that was the way the final was conducted. One person at a time.

I graduated AIT in June of 2002 and headed off to my first duty station, in Ft. Stewart GA.


Over the corse of my training in the Army- the beginning of my journey- I went from 213 lbs to 168 lbs and a size 18 to a size 10 at my smallest. My last PT test at the end of AIT was 23 push ups in 2 mins, 68 situps in 2 mins and 2 miles in 17:02. That was when I was in the best shape of my life. I went home and my parents made me wear my uniform everywhere. No one thought I was cut out for the army, but I loved it. I found out when I was home on leave that I wasn't going to be able to go to AIT for the band. I figured. I was slightly disappointed, but I was told that they may call me back up. Little did I know that was a long shot.

I got to Savannah the Thursday before the 4th of July weekend. I had no idea how I was going to get to the base, which was a good hour away. I went to go rent a car and this guy who was on the plane with me, a Puerto Rican, offered me a ride with some of his friends who had come to pick him up. I remember seeing the old-school maroon Oldsmobile with glitter paint and a Puerto Rican Flag hanging off the rearview. It was fun- but I later realized getting into a car full of strangers to go to a place I have never been is not too smart.

I got a pass for the weekend and holed up in a hotel in savannah and did the did the seeing thing. Tuesday I got picked up by SSG McNiel... The most evil woman to have ever existed in the entire history of the US Army. [[shudders]] She was so hooah- the real 1st 14J in history, since she reclassed and she thought she was hot shit. She made me buy white hair ties and die them to match the exact color of my hair. She would make us check our nail polish colors every Monday to make sure they were very pale and if they weren't she would send us back to the barracks to take it off and give us extra duty. We were not allowed to wear any eyeshadow, and only 'natural' eyeliner. There are of corse- rules as to wear of makeup and such in the army- but she would take it overboard. She wanted to make sure that we were not 'distracting'. We were put on any and all details to strengthen us and she would weigh us at least once a month.

In a battalion of 900 people there were only 6 females. 3 of us were combat arms, 3 of us were support. SSG McNiel was Mine and my battles platoon sgt. We hated her with undying vengeance. I was unprepared for the attention I would receive being a girl in a group of a ton of 18-30 year old boys. I grew up the ugly girl- and I was chubby in high school. Sometimes when I would walk past a mirror in the mall or something I wouldn't even recognize myself, and I had a hard time buying the right size clothes. The attention I was getting was flattering, but scary at the same time. I didn't know who to trust, but I knew who I liked to look at..

Daniel Larubio. His training was much shorter then mine so he had been at Stewart for about 4 months before I got there. When I did- boy was he excited. He knew he immediately had a better chance with me then the others. He took me to the gym often after work- and we would go to sonic on dates. He was a true gentleman and so funny! Like- funnier then me! So one day I decided to give in and as we were making out he took off my shirt. I took off his pants, his boxers, and...

WHAT THE FUCK!?! Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Boy that is smaller then I expected... I guess I can make it work. So long story short we dated for about 2 weeks, and one day I was on top and right before he came (I was on top) he threw me off of him and right into a wall. Chipped my two front teeth. I actually had to go to sick call for that one, greeeeat. We didn't date after that.

This guy Santana was good friends with my roommate. He would come over and do goofy things in our room, and he loved my taste in music. Him and Gee (my roommate) were trying to hook me up with this guy Goss, who I found out later killed a chick during sex on accident- he choked he to death. scary. Anyway- We would double date Gee and Santana, me and Goss. Santana and Goss had to go early to a field exercise in August, and Gee and I didn't. We went to Daytona beach with these 2 random guys who told us they would pay for the gas and the hotel.

We get to the hotel and I find a condom wrapper in the sheets. And we dont have our own room- we are sharing with these idiots! Then they find an old roach (part of a joint) on the floor and decided they would go outside and smoke it- umm.... EWW! I think that sums up my first trip to Daytona sufficiently.

We get back and have to head for the field. I am teamed up with Gee, Santana, SGT Gallo, SSG Rosser and SGT Hudock. Every NCO in this team is an idiot with the exception of SSG Rosser. We are driving the humvee out and we run into a huge puddle. We stop. There is an island in this huge 30 ft puddle. So of corse this means that it is shallow [/sarcasm] So Gee is driving and SGT Hudock tells her to gun it. She does, without telling anyone in the back of the humvee that this is the plan. Hitting that puddle was like hitting a brick wall. SGT Gallo falls out of the back of the truck into the puddle, Santana flies into the canvas on the side and I get slammed into the steel with my back and side of my head. She stops mid puddle and I am the only one hurt. They couldn't decide if i was bleeding from my ear or out of my ear. And I was crying. Yeah- I'm a pussy. I was crying. A couple of valums later and some bed rest it turns out I got herniated disc. Santana took care of me- he gave me flowers and fluffed my pillows and was so sweet. Then one night he offered a back massage and it was all downhill from there. Note to self: 70f back massages lead to sex... Pull out method doesn't work.

SSG McNiel would later get out on a medical discharge, she was on a profile until the day she got out and luckily I haven't see her since.

This was October- our unit would be deployed in 3 months for the invasion of Iraq.



The herniated disc in my back wasn't healing quickly. The pain went from my sholder blades and down my left leg. I actually had a profile for not sitting more then 20 minutes because it would kill me. I couldn't run, which sucked because I am good at it, I couldn't do situps.... I felt like a profile ranger. I convinced my chain of command to trust me enough to go to the pool for PT every morning becuase at least I could get an areobic workout without having to walk around with the broke dicks. It was a tricky thing to do- being a PFC and all, one of my NCO's wanted to go with me at first. Little did he know I was on the swim team in high school. I smoked his ass that day. From then on I was allowed to go after morning formation and I think they knew I was going because I always smelled like clorine.

My team was the first to go, in late october. I was sad that I couldn't go with them. They were told it was a one month training exercise in Kuwait. Maj. Dunn knew better. He told them to pack for 6. Little did they know it would be more like 12. Maj Dunn was new, he was mormon and he and his short pudgy wife had a grand total of 8, yes 8 kids. He told me I would go out with the second team for their turn at the exercise once I was better in December. But my back was killing me, I was on a long list of drugs and my face had started breaking out for the first time in years. Santana and I were sleeping each night in his room, both on that twin bed and without a door. Mid October came around and I went to CVS. I knew what I was going for- a preganacy test. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. I knew I was. Hector had staff duty the night before and I went during lunch- went into his room, peed on my stick and just as soon as the piss hit the stick it said pregnant. So instead of waking him up I went back to work and left it there for him on the nightstand. I cried walking back to the motor pool. I didn't love him. I was only 20. I didn't know what he was going to say or do.

When I got home that night he hugged me tightly and had bought a bouquet of 12 white roses. He told me, "It's going to be okay." I sobbed. I didn't know how it was going to be okay. At all. Even a little. He had told me before that he loved me. I in fact told him I loved him. But it was more that I loved that he loved me if that makes any sence. I had to go to sick call the next day and fess up. That day sucked. Just thinking about it makes me a little queasy. Yup I was pregnant and they gave me a little letter to give to my chain of command. I asked hi what were we going to do. I didn't want to get married- i wanted to give it up. I knew I wasn't strong enough to do the adoption part, but that is what I wanted. Hector swore he loved me. He told me he wanted to get married- it was the right thing to do after all.

The next day was Friday and after evening formation, I went to SFC Adams and Maj Dunn and Hector and I told them the news. It was so hard to do. SFC Adams and his wife had been trying for years to get her pregnant. She had undergone more treatments then you could count on both hands. And Maj Dunn was in my bishopric. I gave SFC Adams the piece of paper and tears welled up in his eyes. Maj Dunn asked me what the plan was. Without hesitation Hector told him. "We are getting married." They cordally congradulated us and we left to the barracks. Hector told his mom. I could hear her screaming and wailing on the other end of the line in spanish. I called my mom 4 days later. She was so cold and hard and rude. She got on the phone and told Hector off. He took it like a man. I was proud of him that day.

Hector asked my dad for my hand in marrige a week later. I decided if I was getting married, that we were going to do it on Halloween, my all time favorite holiday. We requested leave for the Thursday Halloween fell on and the Friday after it. I could tell Hector really loved me and wasn't worried in the least. Our 1SG was fighting the BTN Commander about giving us extra duty for fratinization. No one thought to put Hector on another team though. He was still my PTL LDR until the deployment. They didn't grant us leave. Thursday was SGT's time though- and we were to be released around 1500 that day. As soon as formation was over- our guideon bearer (hector) shoved the guideon in our trunk to take to the Battalion and we booked it.

1545: County Courthouse

The judge is busy with some bullsqua until around 1630. We filled out paperwork and wait. The BTN nuber shows up. Hector turns the cell phone off. They know we are supposed to be getting married! What assholes! We are married. I dont cry- I remember feeling numb. Joyful and sad at the same time. Standing there in my BDU's that reek from the motorpool him in his- looking at this stranger I have only know for a few months and wondering what my life is going to be like. This was not the wedding I had envisioned/ This was not what I wanted.

We go to dinner at that little german resterant you all probably know if you have been to Hinesville and eat and the go for a walk in the park downtown. Finally around 8 we decide to head back to the barracks to pack for our romantic weekend. Hector turns his cell phone back on. 12 missed calls? 10 messages? WTF!?! Oh yeah- the guideon is in our trunk. So we get to the battery and out 1SG and CPT had to stay there until we got back with it. There they were- one sleeping on the meeting table and the other sprawled out in a rolling chair. Serves them right. It was pretty funny.

ok I promise to get to the deployment part tomorrow- I am falling asleep at the wheel [[snooze]]

B Battery left in early November. they had actually just come back 4 months prior. I gave Larubio a journal i had sprayed with my perfume and told him to write. We were still friends, and I hated to see him leave. C Battery had been gone since August or so, and there was talk of moving Delta out there soon. HHB wasn't too worried- for the post part I think that the 14J's and supply clerks weren't worried about being deployed. I knew something was up though. Sure enough Our team was stuck in Kuwait.

Buzz really picked up in early December. We were doing more PMCS, most of our vehicles where getting loaded at the pier and making sure we were tearing apart our convex. I was happy to be helpful in the process, and not be stuck in the office at this point, I was about 3 months along. They sent me and a few other 14J's to training at Raytheon in Alabama, to learn how to use the updates on out ADSI.

When I returned the chain of command told all the soldiers that they would want to go home on leave, and see family, not hang around here in Hinesville. We pretty much knew what was going on, the division was trickling out of Stewart to Kuwait as we spoke. Hector and I elected to go to NM so that he could meet my family and I could meet his- they would travel from LA to stay in Santa Fe.

I was getting in at a different time then Hector, due to the training I was at, and told him to buy his tickets, I would get mine when my leave form was signed, when we returned. What ended up happening is that Hector was going to fly in 3 days ahead of me, I couldn't get to NM until the 26th of December. He would have to meet my parents alone, and i would be spending Christmas alone, a feeling I have since gotten used to.

January 28th, 2003. The division for the most part was gone. Our Battalion and the Cav Battalion was due to leave that morning, around 3 am. I had never felt so lonely in all my life as when all of my friends, my husband, in essence, my family got onto that bus and left me in Georgia. I didn't go to work that day- they gave me the day to get it together. I am crying just thinking about how I got into my car, left HHB and went to go cry in my bed. I had no one. I hated being on rear D with the other losers and my new husband was going to war.

From the day those soldiers left until they day they left Iraq, I wrote Hector once a day, sometimes twice. I would send letters at least once a week to my friends out there with him, and I ended up taking some of the guys under my wing because they got no mail. I spent most of my money of toys and junk and microwaves and power bars, not just for Hector but for his entire sentinel team. I send care packages all the time, and ensured to kiss my old chain of commands ass as often as there was a holiday, the SGM and LTC would get a letter and card. Valentines day, St. Patricks day, anything and everything to get on their good side. I had my reasons... I also enjoyed writing Hectors penis a letter about twice a month, addressed directly to his cock. PVT Maurice Santana.... Everyone knew and it was so much fun for me and him.

Hanging out with the wives that had elected to stay in Hinesville during the deployment was draining. I couldn't deal with their uneducated point of views, I hated the officers wives and basically ended up getting close to my fellow stay back-ers. This one guy, I forget his name, was allergic to grass. In Georgia...So the SGM was sooooo happy to be taking him on deployment- there was no grass in the desert. Apparently he was allergic to something in Kuwait too, and he was home again in like- 6 weeks. BAYNES! that was his name... Kevin Baynes. Anyway

I was in charge of the staff duty desk. Our Rear D commander was Lt. Carbaugh. Thats right. 2nd LT too. And SFC Stallworth, dirtiest old black man on the planet I tell you. I hated going to pregnancy PT because most of the women there got pregnant to get out of the deployment, and were lazy as fuck. And it drove me crazy, so i did PT with the unit. One morning SFC Stallworth asked me to lead PT. When i was finished with our stretching exercises, he asked me to show them all how to do kegils. Thats right folks, he asked that in front of the entire rear d, and I was the only female. I said excuse me? to ensure this man has not lost his damn mind. But he had. I walked out of PT right then and there- I wasn't even offended as much as shocked.

Any and all calls from Kuwait would go through the staff duty desk. To the rear D, to family members, to division from out units out there. It was important to me to do what I could with where I was. I ended up doing crazy hours at the staff duty desk to make sure I was around for when peak hours were, and all important calls. I worked usually from 0900 to 1100, 1300 to 1900 and then sometimes from 0100 to 0600 because of the time difference. I made my own schedule and told the LT what his was as well. I made the duty rosters and loved it.

Hardest part of answering the phones: the families. Everyone had their TV's on CNN or Fox news, and anytime the ticker showed a casualty, a movement, a bombing, the phone would ring off the hook. The men who stayed back hated it. i calmly explained things to them, and slowly they learned not to call anymore. When troops had an extra minute or two to call from Iraq- they were using commo phones, reception was horrid and unclear, and most of the time the conversation was ended by sand in the line. We had to log who was calling, who they were calling and what time they called. Every phone call from Kuwait or Iraq got this.

example of phone conversation during the invasion:

"HHB Battalion staff duty, this is SPC Santana, how may I help you sir or maam?"

"This is PVT Micheal Murphy, Charlie Btry 1/3 ADA. Please connect me to 505-841-2000"

of corse that was never that easy due to cracking in the lines, and the fact that every officer would immeaditly say SANTANA this is CPT Downs, let me talk to Carbaugh.

should the phone disconnect before the soldier actually got to talk to whoever, I would call the number myself and tell them "this is SPC Santana and PVT Murphy just tried to call you, but the line cut off." or something to that effect so mom or girlfriend would know they were safe. By the middle of the deployment I knew who was calling who and I would just look up the old number if I didn't get it in time and call.

I made my life that staff duty desk and did all I could for whoever I could because I was so unhappy I couldn't help. My pregnancy went well for the first 2 trimesters. Then, around the middle of April I got terribly sick and was on best rest until the day Barley was born.