cmaxwell

In the spirit of open discussion I'm going to present a diatribe from my friend El.
El's a fun-loving, level-headed, very smart woman whom I met on a pic-posting adult site awhile back. She and I used to ridicule and satirize some of the other posters. But since becoming a full-time wife and mother of many young kids (hers and her husband's from previous marriages) she's changed her tune a bit. She isn't judgmental about others, really...but very opinionated.
So we debate often, and she shared this with me. She originally wrote this to her high school b/f who is now married to a stripper. What followed was a long discussion online, which I'll spare you for the moment. (By the way, it includes a quote from your truly, which I think is taken out of context and also distorted.)
I don't agree with everything El says, but I thought I'd share it...again with no offense intended to anyone. I highly admire all you sgs. El has a cautionary view. It's very similar to what I used to hear from '70s-style feminists ... I wonder how postfeminisrs respond.

Here's El's diatribe...


The only true differentiation between humans
and animals is our ability to love. We aren't the only species that copulates for enjoyment, but we are the only one that ties emotion into it, and has a set of expectations as to what it "should" be like. In the history of our species- females are JUST NOW being treated as an "equal" to males. In the past, women have used sex as a tool, but only because it was one of the
few available to them. When you can't vote, can't own property, and have fewer legal rights then the other half of society- you use what you have.
The key word for me is perpetuation. Men (incoming
generalization) have historically viewed women as two things, sex objects and mothers, without care for the other things that women have.brains,,souls, emotions. Women have fought for AGES to be treated as the whole package- a sexual being with a soul, a brain, and with desires other then -but also including- procreation.
They have fought to be accepted in the world
as other then a whore or a mother- fought so hard to have our worth judged by more then what comes in and out of our vagina...so why the hell are WOMEN
perpetuating that idea?
And yeah- having been there done that myself-
I blame the women. Because women in the sex industry perpetuate myths about women. One of my best friends wrote this- "I marvel at what our
sexual-posing culture has wrought: the ability to project, portray, and commodify sexual expression into performance, art, and clothing, yet somehow rob it of its danger."
"Commodified" sex bears so little resemblance
to real sex- except in the way we try to imitate it. Why else do women starve themselves, surgically enhance themselves, and spend insane amounts of
money on lingerie that is really uncomfortable ? Why else are there women try so hard to look right, learn how to "act" sexy, but over half of American
women have NEVER had an orgasm?
I'm totally not a prude- basically anything
that two humans can do together- I've done. And liked . So my beliefs are certainly not based in any kind of holier then thou, or disgusted with sex attitude- just the complete frustration that women keep posturing as
something so fake and by doing so harm other women. Just for money.
As a real woman, I love sex. But I get tired, and sick, and sometimes I'm not in the mood. I don't always like going pantiless, I don't have time to work out as much as it would take to be at 10% body fat, I don't like having my hair pulled, I don't find any turn on in dancing with a metal pole, I don't think boobs should look like melons, it hurts when you shove things up my ass, I'm not running around in a constant state of arousal, I don't get like getting things squirted in
my face, getting smacked in the face by a penis doesn't bring me to instant orgasm, it hurts to have my pubic hair ripped out by the roots, wearing spike heels in bed just makes for holes in the sheets, and yeah.size does matter . I am also damn particular about who sees me naked or touches me- it takes a hell of a lot more then a twenty to earn my interest.
Guess I fail as a porn queen, eh? But, I'm real.
And along with millions of other women, I struggle with the idea that I can't have the 10% body fat, that my boobs aren't good enough, that I'm not "sexy"
enough..because some women want to make a quick dime. Cause they keep feeding into the idea that only 20, tiny, and big tittied is sexy. And that all you have to have to get their attention/sex is have money.
If I sound like I hate women in the industry-
I don't. I was sorta there. Luckily for me, I realized that I was microscoping myself- focused so much on being "sexy" that I wasn't being the whole, real me. I can only imagine what it is like to tie your entire self image
into your tits and ass and who wants to use them.what happens when they sag? When you get replaced by the new model? It must suck. Cause what is left then?
I just hate the hurt that the sex industry causes to women. The ones that have tied so much of themselves up into being something they aren't, just to be sexy- the ones that feel betrayed because their significant other uses it, and the normal women that have to struggle
to accept themselves because they don't fit the mold.