Subject: straight jockin' the bitches....
Time: 1:11 am.
Mood: slamming babies.
Music: shatacular.
A guy asked for 67 cents while his friend tried to sneak up around my mom and steal her purse. He said he just got out of jail and the van he had been sleeping in got towed away.
I saw and met the first suicide girl today. Monilade and I had drinks at the Coffee Messiah, and then we decided to go see one of her friends that works at a porn store i wanted to see. Her Friend was Rose the first suicide girl. i didn't recognize her. She looked like my Friend Gail that used to live in Evansville. Which means she was dead hot. Gail should be a Suicide Girl. I should be Gail. The kids want me to come watch modern class tomorrow. My friends are all in different levels, so I don't know how this can be done unless I peer inside the windows and jump from class to class.
Death has seized me again now because a dream i had last night and one my mom had. I think they are omens that I am going to die soon. I mean damn. I've gotta get back on that goddamned airplane on SAt. It could be the end of everything. I wanna move to seattle and be a peep show dancer. I think that would be just the ticket. So how do I let go ? I was thinking of taking a semester off and moving here to seattle in the spring and just rent a spot on someones couch. A good Idea I think. Now just for the complications. Of leaving and all... And Brittney and Patsy. Or just the fact that e-ville is my comfort zone. what is there now?
I stripper who lacks communication skills
"Oh what's a fine man like you doing at a place like this?"
"I would just love to give you a dance... pretty please????" (Bats eyelashes)
I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and how if there is a God would he hate me for doubting that she exists? I mean who would believe in such a thing being an intelligent person in a modern world? And if Jesus is so happy like santa clause why would he be mad at me for such a petty thing. I like to entertain the fact that there may be some kind of god because it's a safety net. I don't have to end. But If you look in the way of before you were born thats another story. You didn't exist so why should I believe I will exist after death? Convince me. I need a preachers shoulder to cry on because with out religion to cradle me, I have no safety net. I have no future. i just simply exist now, in the moment. And past and future are just ideas of a self that cannot be reached. I cannot go back to who I was yesterday or ten years ago, let alone ten days forward. It's useless. These words and these hands. These hands will one day become dirt and this screen will become dirt. the screen will probably exist far longer than i will. Just think when i am 80 this computer with be of no use to me and it will sit somewhere in south america in a antique shop... with a sign on it that says once owed by princess diana. We're always confusing things like these.
Are you like this or like and a magicians hat.
I have 100 dollars left and I have to make it stretch. Tomorrow I have a rough agenda. Get up and call people.
1. Call USI and try to drop a class over the phone
2. Call patsy and try to get her to put some of the money she owes you in the bank
3. Go to cornish to support fellow humans
4. fuck around for awhile
5. Check out vintage store in the university district
6. Meet Monilade at the paramount at 9:30pm
7. Take her to the Deja Vu and treat her to a night of nudity and glamor (and check the competition in these parts)
And remember kids...
Always use a condom!
Click-
Time: 1:11 am.
Mood: slamming babies.
Music: shatacular.
A guy asked for 67 cents while his friend tried to sneak up around my mom and steal her purse. He said he just got out of jail and the van he had been sleeping in got towed away.
I saw and met the first suicide girl today. Monilade and I had drinks at the Coffee Messiah, and then we decided to go see one of her friends that works at a porn store i wanted to see. Her Friend was Rose the first suicide girl. i didn't recognize her. She looked like my Friend Gail that used to live in Evansville. Which means she was dead hot. Gail should be a Suicide Girl. I should be Gail. The kids want me to come watch modern class tomorrow. My friends are all in different levels, so I don't know how this can be done unless I peer inside the windows and jump from class to class.
Death has seized me again now because a dream i had last night and one my mom had. I think they are omens that I am going to die soon. I mean damn. I've gotta get back on that goddamned airplane on SAt. It could be the end of everything. I wanna move to seattle and be a peep show dancer. I think that would be just the ticket. So how do I let go ? I was thinking of taking a semester off and moving here to seattle in the spring and just rent a spot on someones couch. A good Idea I think. Now just for the complications. Of leaving and all... And Brittney and Patsy. Or just the fact that e-ville is my comfort zone. what is there now?
I stripper who lacks communication skills
"Oh what's a fine man like you doing at a place like this?"
"I would just love to give you a dance... pretty please????" (Bats eyelashes)
I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and how if there is a God would he hate me for doubting that she exists? I mean who would believe in such a thing being an intelligent person in a modern world? And if Jesus is so happy like santa clause why would he be mad at me for such a petty thing. I like to entertain the fact that there may be some kind of god because it's a safety net. I don't have to end. But If you look in the way of before you were born thats another story. You didn't exist so why should I believe I will exist after death? Convince me. I need a preachers shoulder to cry on because with out religion to cradle me, I have no safety net. I have no future. i just simply exist now, in the moment. And past and future are just ideas of a self that cannot be reached. I cannot go back to who I was yesterday or ten years ago, let alone ten days forward. It's useless. These words and these hands. These hands will one day become dirt and this screen will become dirt. the screen will probably exist far longer than i will. Just think when i am 80 this computer with be of no use to me and it will sit somewhere in south america in a antique shop... with a sign on it that says once owed by princess diana. We're always confusing things like these.
Are you like this or like and a magicians hat.
I have 100 dollars left and I have to make it stretch. Tomorrow I have a rough agenda. Get up and call people.
1. Call USI and try to drop a class over the phone
2. Call patsy and try to get her to put some of the money she owes you in the bank
3. Go to cornish to support fellow humans
4. fuck around for awhile
5. Check out vintage store in the university district
6. Meet Monilade at the paramount at 9:30pm
7. Take her to the Deja Vu and treat her to a night of nudity and glamor (and check the competition in these parts)
And remember kids...
Always use a condom!
Click-