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90 miles east o' PDX on the Columbia

Member Since 2002

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Tuesday Jan 11, 2005

Jan 11, 2005
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I have started this three times now, gotten about 2 paragraphs in, then scraped what I am writing. Too many things to reflect on today. I can't decide what thoughts to include. One thing I keep thinking about is my parents. I have had lots of time to hang out with them as of late. I think about some people who spent so much time trying to separate their lives from their parents, only to realize too late; the importance of having them in their life. I will miss my parents when they are gone (hopefully a long time from now), but I am glad to know that I will never feel I did not get to spend enough time with them. The good the bad, I've loved every minute of it.

I hate not being able to play the guitar. I find too often that I get riffs from songs stuck in my head. Only to find out upon listening to the song it's from again; that it was not even in the song. My mind manufactured what I thought I heard, but I have no way to convey what I am thinking, in a song done by me. I have tried lessons and college classes only to get frustrated and quit. I think it stems from hearing it all in my head, picking up the guitar and not being able to instantly transfer it from my mind to the guitar. Why can't I get around this. I never want to jam with friends who can play. I realize that I can learn from them, but I never want to play what they are teaching me. I guess it's a case of wanting the "Goose that can lay the Golden egg"...........Now! Just one of my frustrations I guess.

This parlays into singing. Most of my friends enjoy the Karaoke. I actually enjoy it as well. I'm generally not one to toot my own horn, but I think I have a great singing voice. It runs in the family. I just can't for the life of me get over the stage fright. It's ridiculous. I think it's why I don't write the lyrics and poems I use to. I got to the point where I felt none of it would ever see the light of day. So I stopped writing it. I just add it to the list of things to do before I die list, that never seems to get any shorter.

I guess I need to start "doing" rather than "watching" life go by. It really is too short. So, with that said. It is now time for me to overhaul my resume, and find work. Unemployment checks like life are getting too short.

If you made it to the end of this BLOG I salute you. Take care and tackle those challenges in your life that you never seem to get to. Only you can make them happen. Peace out!

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