clockworkjoe

Death rides a pale horse. My results will be back in a matter of days. My mother has been in and out of the hospital. Stress and past emotional trauma that shes never dealt with has pushed her into suicide attempts and temporary mental illness. Hopefully my news fairs well or alas for my poor mother. I was rejected again, Megan went back with her boyfriend. Ive never hated anyone ever, and i dont plan to start. I do dislike her Ex, well, i guess he is no longer an ex. People are so blind. When i was standing with my hand extended, she walked away and back to pain, back to him. Maybe im blind, maybe i should see it will always be this way. If im dying, it doesnt matter. It seems morbid, but i enjoy the fact that i may have a short time to live because the thought of being motivated to accomplish last wishes seems like a pleasant and exciting adventure. It would be a long movie in which i was the star. A beginning, a middle, death, the end. I want to do a few things if my time is short. I will discuss if so. Onward to sleep, onward to tomorrow, i must stop rambling. Maybe my mental state isnt ok either, i have been a bit more eccentric lately. Im glad ill never be like mom, i could never lose it that bad.

au revoir!!