clintron

I thnk I'm on the verge of another breakdown. I'm shaking right now as I type this, my whole body wants to explode into a huge scream/cry/smash/punch/kill right now. I can't concentrate on anything, not even enough to read a few words on a page. I don't know what to do now. I feel like I want to be dead. The pain is huge. I get all these grisly images in my head and think about them every day. I think about death a lot. I can't live like this. I don't eat. A lot of the time I don't sleep. I just want to smash things. or cry. or scream. All these feelings are so jumbled in my head I don't know what is what any more. I feel more like a spectacle than a person. I don't really even know why I'm in so much pain. I really need someone to talk to. I'm no longer in control of my own mind.
I guess this is my own personal hell.
Got to go to work now, it'll be fun.