i woke up this morning with a swollen eye.
my cat kept me up all night going MROWR MROWR MROWR so i had to sleep with all the lights on.
this morning the driver of the 22 bus didn't change his sign from 21 so i thought i was getting on the right bus. i ended up having to walk ten or so blocks to work in the snow.
i am on such a tight budget this month.
all i want to do is stay home and drink cheap champagne in the bathtub all day and read. i think i would make a FANTASTIC invalid.
i imagine myself in my later years somehow developing a german accent and locking myself in an opulent apartment. i would order food in and harass the delivery boys with a tumbler of scotch in one hand. they would sit on my couch fidgeting as i told them fake stories about my "singing" days back in "paris". then as they would leave with a wad of cash tucked into their back pockets i would turn them around by their shoulders, kiss them, smack them, start sobbing and kick them out. not that i would actually eat the food, no by that time i think i'd be living off cocktails and chocolates...but i can see myself developing a delivery boy fetish...and walking around in a silk robe and marabou slippers.
basically i am looking forward to growing old. old, fantastic broads don't have to worry about stupid bus drivers. old, fantastic broads worry about the arch of their eyebrows.
how do you see yourself, aged?
my cat kept me up all night going MROWR MROWR MROWR so i had to sleep with all the lights on.
this morning the driver of the 22 bus didn't change his sign from 21 so i thought i was getting on the right bus. i ended up having to walk ten or so blocks to work in the snow.
i am on such a tight budget this month.
all i want to do is stay home and drink cheap champagne in the bathtub all day and read. i think i would make a FANTASTIC invalid.
i imagine myself in my later years somehow developing a german accent and locking myself in an opulent apartment. i would order food in and harass the delivery boys with a tumbler of scotch in one hand. they would sit on my couch fidgeting as i told them fake stories about my "singing" days back in "paris". then as they would leave with a wad of cash tucked into their back pockets i would turn them around by their shoulders, kiss them, smack them, start sobbing and kick them out. not that i would actually eat the food, no by that time i think i'd be living off cocktails and chocolates...but i can see myself developing a delivery boy fetish...and walking around in a silk robe and marabou slippers.
basically i am looking forward to growing old. old, fantastic broads don't have to worry about stupid bus drivers. old, fantastic broads worry about the arch of their eyebrows.
how do you see yourself, aged?
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
Me, ... I'll be a professional porch cruiser, sippin whiskey and lemonade and snarling at the neighbor hood kids when they step onto my lawn. ... Goddamn kids don't know nothin these days