As some of you may already know (you should read my blog, neeeh), I've been through a complicated situation with my boyfriend recently. Well, I'm not here to brag about this it's not the purpose of this blog, but this problem made me realize a lot of things about myself. I won't say I have any mental health disorder but I do suffer from a real, real, real issue called the FEAR OF ABANDONMENT (please, make it sound dramatic if you're saying it out loud, thx).
And I think this is my worst fear of all. I can endure tons. I can get tattooed on the ribs for hours and fall asleep (true story), I can get through a lot, I think I'm a warrior in my own way. But when it comes to relationships - romantic ones in particular -, things get complicated for me. I think it has a lot to do with my childhood, my parents, their divorce when I was 5 years old and the fights with my mother when I was a teenager, but knowing isn't enough to stop these intense feelings of anxiety when I fear someone will reject me.
So I've bought a book last week, and started to read it. It's called "Love me, don't leave me", and OMG, this is just the story of my life. I'm really into self development and it's a self help book, I think it's going to help me change some things in my life. Well, at least I hope so haha.
That's all for today, just a quick post on the go :)
Love, & all.
