so... yesterday... i was happy... very happy. classes went amazingly well, got to hang out with the best friend, saw some people at school i haven't seen since grade school, and just had an awesome day. me and michael the aforementioned best firend went and saw inglorious bastards. during which my car decided to flip out and catch fire... yes it caught mother fucking on fire. my engine is fucked, the car is a wreck and there's nothing to do now but scrap the shit.
so... i'm hopping to get a couple hundred bucks for it pay my last months work of liability only insurance on it <_< fucking shit, and be done with it.
applied for a loan from my bank hoping to get about 2,500 to get a new decent car just something to get me from school to work and home for now. if not i'll have to use my student loans to buy one instead of like the school supplies i need.
i'm so depressed right now. not cuzz of the car per-say but like cuzz my summer ended on a good note i was happy sincerely happy and what happens, the universe throws me yet another curve ball...
it gets old quickly, i hate this year this whole fucking year just sucks, and to be honest, it's getting harder and harder to say if i'll make it out of this year alive or not... nights like tonight... they get long... and you just pray for the dawn because you know that the more time you spend alone with your thoughts the more time they poison everything you work for.
ugh, there's just so much i want to say... but yet... so much that would be better off left alone, if only i could manage to not dig them up in my mind every time i'm up late at night... then maybe i'd actually get over some of the shit that has happened...
so... i'm hopping to get a couple hundred bucks for it pay my last months work of liability only insurance on it <_< fucking shit, and be done with it.
applied for a loan from my bank hoping to get about 2,500 to get a new decent car just something to get me from school to work and home for now. if not i'll have to use my student loans to buy one instead of like the school supplies i need.
i'm so depressed right now. not cuzz of the car per-say but like cuzz my summer ended on a good note i was happy sincerely happy and what happens, the universe throws me yet another curve ball...
it gets old quickly, i hate this year this whole fucking year just sucks, and to be honest, it's getting harder and harder to say if i'll make it out of this year alive or not... nights like tonight... they get long... and you just pray for the dawn because you know that the more time you spend alone with your thoughts the more time they poison everything you work for.
ugh, there's just so much i want to say... but yet... so much that would be better off left alone, if only i could manage to not dig them up in my mind every time i'm up late at night... then maybe i'd actually get over some of the shit that has happened...
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Yeah I really hope that he gets in, he would be great as the thing that he wants to become
Inglorious basters ftw. "I did not travel 5,000 miles and jump 27 kilometers out of air-ro-plane landing on the outskirts of France to teach NAWTZEES about humanity" =P I loved that freaky guy who was the bear. He reminded me of the black guy in Zoolander (the one WIll Ferrrel through coffee on).
Ahh just Focus on something good Mr. Clayton. I know these long nights, I'm not too sure how to deal with it but what works for me is focusing & immersing myself in something good.
Just let go, is all I can say about the things that have happened. If you need answers, progress and find them and let them go. Holding baggage gets tiresome. The memory files are enough, sometimes you have to stamp out things "case closed" or leave them unfinished until you come up with a new lead. *Hug*. You'll make it through. The journey is blah, but you'll make it through.
Summation response to your comment:
I agree with most things you said. Actually almost everything of what you said. Not sure though as it's just a certain glimpse into your perspective so I don't want to say I completely agree because I haven't seen it all yet, NAHHHH MEAN?
"i've cried from reading certain things but i don't think i've just read till i cried not sure whatcha mean"= The latter. I've cried from reading certain things as well. I mean just reading a book that is so horrible and so dull you just start crying because you keep pushing yourself to read it. Much like jogging or running for too long.
"lol shush i don't expect people to talk like that. i thought i was the only one who said things like the pancake house of inter nationalities. "= Maybe it's just an ihop thing
Think well Mr. Clayton. Focus on positive things. Our thoughts are things, they're little tiny nerons. Function in al electrical like way and only things with the same/complementary charge respond. If you think negatively most likely negative things respond with you, think positively. It's hard as you have to change the way you think, because you evoke the bad thoughts. Causes mental blah blah, but it can be done. I know I sound insane, research enough you'll see I make sense
Wish you the best.