classy_

i guess i should like, write a blog or something...

well, whats new. hmmmm.

i still refuse to let things end like this with the boy.

i just think that its wrong.

everyone says im crazy, and "let it go", "he doesnt deserve you" yada yada.

well, i dont care.

he is a good person. and he didnt deserve to be treated the way i treated him.

and i think that he should know that i am ALSO a good person.

i am not some cunt rag desperste attention whore. im not. those of you who know me, know im not.

yes, i got way caught up in chat for a few weeks and that caused me to be a real wench to him, but fuck man, we've all been there to some degree, right?

and i know its so fucking cliche (the boy actually liked cliches haha), but i really didnt know what i had until it was gone.

i also know i cant have it back. and i am happy that he is standing his ground, i really am, but i just need him to know ME. just as a person, a friend is it ends up that way.

if he gets to know me, and thinks im a fucking retarded fuck, great. at least its me he rejected. and not some lame idea of me.

annnnyway.

i also have been doing well on my weight watchers diet. not perfect, but im getting better every day. and i can tell that my upper tummy is slimmer. and i cant wait to go to the meeting saturday and see if i lost me some weight.

im kind of excited for saturday and the festivities, even though my costume hasnt come yet. *crosses fingers and prays it comes tomorrow* but, itll be good. ill be social. yes, me, social.

ummm, what else, oh, i would just like to say that some of you guys....... WOW. you have been there for me and been so accepting of me, and understanding and supportive... i couldnt ask for better. well, i could, but that would be greedy haha. so to the few people that im sure know who they are... I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!! and you can come to me and cry and bawl and look like shit on cam whenever you need it. because lord knows you guys have put up with my random spurts of cryfest.

ummm, last but not least...

ATTENTION WASHINTON STATE RESIDENTS:

i want to come visit. you guys say you want me to come visit. i am waiting on you people to decide where the hell im staying and when is most convenient to buy a ticket. i want to come before thanksgiving. figure it out. kay thanks.

OMG I ALMOST FORGOT!!!

saturday night was like the best night ive had in a while. i was on cam being a total goof, and had my audio on and i was a total comedienne for like 2 hours. i made both mama and claw cry. i was proud. ONE BOOB FOREVER LADIES!!!!!

...thank you, and goodnight.