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cklarock

Was destroyed in order to save it

Member Since 2004

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Tuesday Mar 15, 2005

Mar 15, 2005
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its a terrible, wonderful world.

When one has made a decision, even if it will be very difficult to succeed by advancing straight ahead, it will not do to think about going at it in a long roundabout way. Ones heart may slacken, he may miss his chance, and by and large there will be no success. The Way of the Samurai is one of immediacy, and it is best to dash in headlong.
--Yamamoto Tsunetomo, Hagakure

This has been the most bittersweet week of recent memory for me. I met some really amazing new friends, renewed bonds with old friends, have felt fully alive and have prayed for death. I played with little kids, and I caressed the elderly. I made music and laughed too loudly in public. I have eaten too little, slept too little and thought too much. I have cried more than I can recall since I was a child, but am still not cried out.

Mortality brushed one cheek while promise kissed the other. I was reminded; fooling yourself is the sweetest gift, but you will be dust in the end. From the stars it all came, to the stars it will all return, and everything in between is the aberration. Thank God for transience, because nothing is ever so poignant as the thing that has passed.

Today, I get it.

-----

It is spiritless to think that you cannot attain that which you have seen and heard the masters attain. The masters are men, you are a man.
--Hagakure

I feel undefeatable, although I am not sure whether it is because I am buoyed by recent events or so disheartened by them that I no longer care to discern between victory and defeat. Can I say both?

Im writing this on an airplane. In an hour, we will touch down in San Francisco. I will sleep, eat, mourn, paint and visit Ellie-Bean and Puddin, although not necessarily in that order. Tomorrow, I go back to work, and tomorrow I turn 35.

Until the age of forty it is best to gather strength. It is appropriate to have settled down by the age of fifty.
--Hagakure

-----

I have two paintings I need to make now. One will be of my grandmother, the way that I remember her, fierce and powerful. The second will be a present, one that I will not share, save for with its recipient.
VIEW 27 of 27 COMMENTS
jessej:
uh , I am not sure if I am doing this right ??? is this where u mean i should post......I am new to this whole thing HAPPY B-DAY agian thanks
Mar 16, 2005
xixax:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

Thanks for the compliments on the photo. It is true, the guy who shot it is a genius when it comes to lighting. In fact, he was my teacher for technical theatre and lighting design in college. He's one of the best lighting designers in the state.
Mar 16, 2005

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