So I almost died last night. Or at least I almost got fucked the entire fuck up.
Remember playing dodge-ball as a kid? Remember when you would jump out of the way of a ball, and kind of arch your back, so the ball would narrowly miss your ass? Hold that image in your mind for just a minute.
After dinner, my friends Rich and Suzanne are dropping me off across the street from my houseI exit curb-side and enter the street between a couple of parked cars. Due to the angle of the hill and the low clearance of the sports car speeding toward me, I dont see it and step directly in front of it. This thing was right on me. I jumped forward and arched my back for distance, and when I turned around to guage my friends reaction, Richie was showing me the this close gesture. He said the car missed me by under a foot.
It was pretty much ninja-riffic.
The driver never saw me either(s)he never put on the brakes. This. Close.
So what have I realized, having had this near-death-esque experience? That I have to live every day like its my last. No more not ordering the second sausage from Rosemunds or turning down 3:00 a.m. booty-calls from my crazy ex. From now on, my program is strictly Dead Man Walkin.
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How 'bout them 'Hawks?
Remember playing dodge-ball as a kid? Remember when you would jump out of the way of a ball, and kind of arch your back, so the ball would narrowly miss your ass? Hold that image in your mind for just a minute.
After dinner, my friends Rich and Suzanne are dropping me off across the street from my houseI exit curb-side and enter the street between a couple of parked cars. Due to the angle of the hill and the low clearance of the sports car speeding toward me, I dont see it and step directly in front of it. This thing was right on me. I jumped forward and arched my back for distance, and when I turned around to guage my friends reaction, Richie was showing me the this close gesture. He said the car missed me by under a foot.
It was pretty much ninja-riffic.
The driver never saw me either(s)he never put on the brakes. This. Close.
So what have I realized, having had this near-death-esque experience? That I have to live every day like its my last. No more not ordering the second sausage from Rosemunds or turning down 3:00 a.m. booty-calls from my crazy ex. From now on, my program is strictly Dead Man Walkin.
-----
How 'bout them 'Hawks?
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
lemonkid:
Hmmmm... maybe "Lazour".. the bonus being that if you get the double entendre right people think you're saying "laser!"
lemonkid:
Hahahaha. Well played.