(See previous 4 entries for earlier stages of this image)
So I'm working this thing forward, and I'm seeing this man emerge who started out kind of angry and fierce, and is now looking more haunted and grim; a little wild-eyed, and probably unstable. And as I'm coaxing Rumric out from under all these marks and lines, I'm reminded that the part of horror that I've always liked the most is watching people get psychologically stressed and (eventually) break down.
My friend deployed to Afghanistan last year and he described his time at the fire-base as a waking nightmare. Real-life stress is kind of a fascinating thing; I like to watch people under stress, sometimes I like to put them under stress (in a martial-arts training environment, of course!) and I like to be under stress. Not the ohmygodIcantpaymybillsandmybabymamaisonmylastmotherfuckingnerve kind of stress, but the sudden and unexpected trauma. Fight or flight, and what are you going to do?
In my little Happy Fun CK world, the last sudden and unexpected stress I had was running into my ex.
I handled it, and if the encounter was a test from the Universe, I think I did o.k. . . . a B+, maybe. But that's not exactly life or death kind of stuff-- within my internal landscape it's a Big Deal, but in the context of the rest of our little planet, it's not much.
When I was training Karate back in the day (with the guy who went to Afghanistan), I didnt have to jump out of an airplane to get my black-belt. My teacher was on a HALO detachment in the 80s, and he thought that jumping out of an airplane was the most direct way for a spirit-warrior to confront his or her fear of death. Everyone had to jump out of the plane at least once, and a bunch of the senior students were into skydiving.
So when I got black-belted, this guy Todd complained. Hey, CK never jumped out of an airplane!
Eric (our teacher) told him, If youd heard his life, youd know he already jumped out of the airplane.
Now, Ive worked pretty hard to get to this (relatively) easy place, so Im not bitching that its too dull, but sometimes, I want to be the guy that metaphorically jumps off the helicopter into a firefight. I want my life to be a little more . . . horrific? Maybe so.
Of course, I dont really want to get shot at. and I certainly dont want a cult of evil diabolists gunning for me like Rumric has. Our boy here isn't far from a breakdown, I think. He could use a hug, some Paxil and a one-way trip to a world where your enemies wont sacrifice orphans in order to make your lady-love turn inside out (suddenly and against her will).
Tomorrow, If I decide to make any more dramatic changes, I will try to make Rumric here look like the seventeen year-old he's supposed to be, rather than the prematurely middle-aged guy we've got here.
p.s. How bout those Jayhawks?
So I'm working this thing forward, and I'm seeing this man emerge who started out kind of angry and fierce, and is now looking more haunted and grim; a little wild-eyed, and probably unstable. And as I'm coaxing Rumric out from under all these marks and lines, I'm reminded that the part of horror that I've always liked the most is watching people get psychologically stressed and (eventually) break down.
My friend deployed to Afghanistan last year and he described his time at the fire-base as a waking nightmare. Real-life stress is kind of a fascinating thing; I like to watch people under stress, sometimes I like to put them under stress (in a martial-arts training environment, of course!) and I like to be under stress. Not the ohmygodIcantpaymybillsandmybabymamaisonmylastmotherfuckingnerve kind of stress, but the sudden and unexpected trauma. Fight or flight, and what are you going to do?
In my little Happy Fun CK world, the last sudden and unexpected stress I had was running into my ex.
I handled it, and if the encounter was a test from the Universe, I think I did o.k. . . . a B+, maybe. But that's not exactly life or death kind of stuff-- within my internal landscape it's a Big Deal, but in the context of the rest of our little planet, it's not much.
When I was training Karate back in the day (with the guy who went to Afghanistan), I didnt have to jump out of an airplane to get my black-belt. My teacher was on a HALO detachment in the 80s, and he thought that jumping out of an airplane was the most direct way for a spirit-warrior to confront his or her fear of death. Everyone had to jump out of the plane at least once, and a bunch of the senior students were into skydiving.
So when I got black-belted, this guy Todd complained. Hey, CK never jumped out of an airplane!
Eric (our teacher) told him, If youd heard his life, youd know he already jumped out of the airplane.
Now, Ive worked pretty hard to get to this (relatively) easy place, so Im not bitching that its too dull, but sometimes, I want to be the guy that metaphorically jumps off the helicopter into a firefight. I want my life to be a little more . . . horrific? Maybe so.
Of course, I dont really want to get shot at. and I certainly dont want a cult of evil diabolists gunning for me like Rumric has. Our boy here isn't far from a breakdown, I think. He could use a hug, some Paxil and a one-way trip to a world where your enemies wont sacrifice orphans in order to make your lady-love turn inside out (suddenly and against her will).
Tomorrow, If I decide to make any more dramatic changes, I will try to make Rumric here look like the seventeen year-old he's supposed to be, rather than the prematurely middle-aged guy we've got here.
p.s. How bout those Jayhawks?
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
do you spin out? what kinda records do you spin?
But it'll go on the movies to see list. Even since I broke up with my ex, I haven't gone to a movie (except Life Aquatic, and that's out of devotion to Wes). I'm lame. But if I can't find it online in a week, I'm all up ON it.