cklarock

Kansas Basketball.

Big 12 Champions, and now Big 12 Tournament Champions.

The tournament championship game was amazing; everything you could want from a college basketball game. Kevin Durant, once again, blew the fuck UP and hung 22 points on Kansas --in the first half -- en route to Texas building a 22-point lead, and once again, was eventually played out of the game by a swarming Kansas defense that figured out the only way to keep him from dropping 50 on you is to deny him the ball.

Thanks to the quick hands and vastly under-rated defensive play of Brandon Rush (and the fact that Durant has more trouble with smaller guards defending inside his shirt after switching off a ball screen than he does shooting over a big), the mighty Texas offense slowed down juuuuust enough for Kansas to erase a 20-point deficit and tie the game, forcing the first overtime in the history of the Big 12 Championship game.

An overtime in which Kansas hit all of their free throws and with a couple of key stops snatched victory from the 6'9" (but 7'2" wingspan) jaws of defeat.

Whew. Rock fucking Chalk. It really doesn't get any better than this time of year.

The #1 thing I'm glad about with regards to Durant: He'll never play against Kansas again. He is a few games away from gone to the NBA, and I think that he's going to be a BEAST in the bigs. Granted, he may never win anything (coughKevinGarnettcoughcough), but boy oh boy will he get rich trying. The kid is SICK. He hits well-guarded threes better than most team's best shooters will in an empty gym. If you haven't seen him play, it's unreal.

So by way of disclaimer, I would like to say that he is probably the second-best freshman to ever play in Allen Fieldhouse, and that is high praise.

But could the media ride his dick ANY HARDER? Jesus Christ, people, you're embarrassing ME, and I'm not even a Texas fan. He's a one-and-done-- a fantastically good one-and-done, but c'mon already. He's not what college basketball is all about.

Does he even take classes? If so, why?

Maybe he could take ECON 104 - Investing Strategies for Guaranteed Millionaires, or BIO 130 - How to Keep Groupies from Becoming your Baby Mama. Ooh, here's one: COM 122 - Communications Strategies for When Sports Pundits Turn Your Penis Into a Clown Car.

So, in the spirit of friendliness and cooperation, I've created the following seating chart to help assign spots on Kevin Durant's dick between now and whenever Texas goes out of the tournament and America collectively no longer gives a fuck.