I am proud to announce that I have bought the licencse for an ancient ninja training franchise, and am now offering ninja certification courses.
Prospective candidates should be aware that our selection and screening process is one of the most rigorous in the temporal-denouement industry. Candidates should expect to be tested by methods including, but not limited to; food poisoning, surprise attacks from strangers, psychic assault, throwing stars in the night, and having to fight Chuck Norris in a Disco.
As part of my training, you will learn to master the body's semi-conscious reflexes, perform feats of super-human strength and flexibility, and totally shred on the guitar even harder than Yngwie Malmsteen.
If you graduate, you will have the green light to totally waste motherfuckers.
Don't believe me? Read the literature:
Prospective candidates should be aware that our selection and screening process is one of the most rigorous in the temporal-denouement industry. Candidates should expect to be tested by methods including, but not limited to; food poisoning, surprise attacks from strangers, psychic assault, throwing stars in the night, and having to fight Chuck Norris in a Disco.
As part of my training, you will learn to master the body's semi-conscious reflexes, perform feats of super-human strength and flexibility, and totally shred on the guitar even harder than Yngwie Malmsteen.
If you graduate, you will have the green light to totally waste motherfuckers.
Don't believe me? Read the literature:
International Kansas Ninja Training Academy, LLC, one of North Americas leading providers of business, technology, health care and management assassination services, offers degree programs to set your career in motion and make employer take notice.
With our accelerated format, you can earn your throwing stars in as few as three years, or enjoy your ninja training experience at a more relaxed pace. You decide. Attend full time, part time, nights, days, and weekends at one of more than 75 secret remote locations across North America, or learn online any time, anywhere.
Just like your deadly skills.
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That was hilarious....
Even though I knew it was coming the end made me explode in laughter.