Despite what you may have heard regarding "scientific" analysis of carbon emissions and climate change, I am here to make a strong observation-based advocacy for the Inverse Pirate Theory:
Fig 1.: The Inverse relationship between average global temperature and estimated number of pirates
What can we do, you ask? It's simple. Far simpler than taking the time to recycle, to invest in sustainable energy sources and sustainable building practices. Far simpler than addressing global income inequality, trying to find some way to wean ourselves from fossil fuels or eat less meat.
If you love your Earth, you can take up piracy (or privateering if you are already Republican.)
The long and short of it is this; we know that global warming is the way that the Flying Spaghetti Monster expresses His displeasure with our lack of piracy (Fig. 1). Therefore, more pirates, less displeasure, lower overall global temperatures. Easy.
(whispering) He might not be smart enough to distinguish from people dressed up as pirates and people who are actually pirates. I say this because I have noticed that it gets really cold for a few months right after Halloween. I don't think this is a coincidence.
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HAVE YOU BEEN TOUCHED BY HIS NOODLY APPENDAGE?
Fig 1.: The Inverse relationship between average global temperature and estimated number of pirates
What can we do, you ask? It's simple. Far simpler than taking the time to recycle, to invest in sustainable energy sources and sustainable building practices. Far simpler than addressing global income inequality, trying to find some way to wean ourselves from fossil fuels or eat less meat.
If you love your Earth, you can take up piracy (or privateering if you are already Republican.)
The long and short of it is this; we know that global warming is the way that the Flying Spaghetti Monster expresses His displeasure with our lack of piracy (Fig. 1). Therefore, more pirates, less displeasure, lower overall global temperatures. Easy.
(whispering) He might not be smart enough to distinguish from people dressed up as pirates and people who are actually pirates. I say this because I have noticed that it gets really cold for a few months right after Halloween. I don't think this is a coincidence.
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HAVE YOU BEEN TOUCHED BY HIS NOODLY APPENDAGE?
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Not sword and not mind..aye, now that is an answer to a very good question: "What am I?"