It will come of no surprise to you all that there are many things that I get frustrated at. I shall save you all the effort of reading what they are. In my defence though I feel I must also state that there are many things in this world that bring me joy. Again, I shall save you all the effort of reading a boring and tedious list. One thing that I get more frustrated at than anything else though is responsibility! Or should I say the lack of it. It would be of no exaggeration if I were to state that there isnt a day go past when I hear someone make a statement where they dont take responsibility for themselves.
As a child, you are not expected to take responsibility. Yet as you get older, and often at the age of about 12, people start to mention to you this word that they are going to give you responsibility. I remember being in a class room at the age of 12 and the teacher speaking about as year 7s we will be given more responsibility. I remember the same teacher giving the same speech in year 10. Then you leave school and you are once again told that you are an adult now, and you must take responsibility. Some people then decide to have a child, and again, it will be unlikely that someone will not mention responsibility to them, and how they now have it. Again, when people get a job, home etc etc this word is given to them once more. What frustrates me about responsibility, is not how it is given to us in incremental steps, but how even though we are prepared so much for it, I still rarely see anyone take it.
I often hear people make a comment such as, He really angers me or it really pisses me off or she made me do it. These are comments made from adults, adults who have been prepared to take responsibility. I want to ask a question, and one for you all to think about for a short while. If someone does something that I dislike, where does that negative, dislike feeling come from?
Have you thought about it? Have you got an answer? I dont want to know your answer, it is partly a rhetorical question!
The truth is, all feelings, all emotions come from within. When you feel angry about something, you created that anger. When you feel happy, you created that happiness. When you feel discomfort, hope, greed, jealous, joyous, it all comes from within. The truth is, a situation does not make you feel anything. You feel something towards that situation. And this is the sort of responsibility that I see so little of, myself as guilty as others at times.
I feel the world would benefit greatly if we were all to take responsibility. I feel we would all be able to deal with situations better if we took responsibility for the feelings and thoughts we have. One thing I have learned over the past 12 months is that if I dont take responsibility for my feelings, I can never learn to control them. How would I be able to if they were not mine?... if they belonged to a situation rather than to me?
One thing I really feel I must stress is that Im not saying that it is wrong to have an emotion. It is NEVER wrong to feel something. The moment we stop feeling is the time to be concerned. I feel we should never feel guilty for being human, and to feel is to be human! But there are situations when people want certain feelings to be removed. And to do this, they must learn to take responsibility. One, of many, strategies in achieving this is to change your language. People underestimate how much changing your language can change your state of mind. So many people have dismissed the power of true speech.
Let me give you a situation Your boss one day tells you to do something, phrased as a question. You do this but it is not to their satisfaction and they tell you off for it. You may walk away feeling angry, disappointed, frustrated etc. The chances are that you will go and tell someone about this, and you may use language such as, He really pissed me off, or He really made me mad. Now with those phrases, you are giving the responsibility to the situation. And situations should be treated like children, we should never expect them to hold any responsibility. The fact is, in this situation, the boss did not make the employee feel anything. The employees feelings came from within, from themselves. They are a result of the employees reaction to the situation. Therefore, the correct language should be I got really pissed off at him or I got really mad at him. When we change our language, we start to take responsibility for our emotions, and then they are in our control. Only then can we do something about them if we wish to that is. Sometimes feeling pissed off, is not a bad thing! All feelings serve some purpose (but that is for another time!).
I have much more that I could write about this situation, but I shall leave it in this small, bitesized chunk for you to chew over.
As always, yours,
CJ5ive
As a child, you are not expected to take responsibility. Yet as you get older, and often at the age of about 12, people start to mention to you this word that they are going to give you responsibility. I remember being in a class room at the age of 12 and the teacher speaking about as year 7s we will be given more responsibility. I remember the same teacher giving the same speech in year 10. Then you leave school and you are once again told that you are an adult now, and you must take responsibility. Some people then decide to have a child, and again, it will be unlikely that someone will not mention responsibility to them, and how they now have it. Again, when people get a job, home etc etc this word is given to them once more. What frustrates me about responsibility, is not how it is given to us in incremental steps, but how even though we are prepared so much for it, I still rarely see anyone take it.
I often hear people make a comment such as, He really angers me or it really pisses me off or she made me do it. These are comments made from adults, adults who have been prepared to take responsibility. I want to ask a question, and one for you all to think about for a short while. If someone does something that I dislike, where does that negative, dislike feeling come from?
Have you thought about it? Have you got an answer? I dont want to know your answer, it is partly a rhetorical question!
The truth is, all feelings, all emotions come from within. When you feel angry about something, you created that anger. When you feel happy, you created that happiness. When you feel discomfort, hope, greed, jealous, joyous, it all comes from within. The truth is, a situation does not make you feel anything. You feel something towards that situation. And this is the sort of responsibility that I see so little of, myself as guilty as others at times.
I feel the world would benefit greatly if we were all to take responsibility. I feel we would all be able to deal with situations better if we took responsibility for the feelings and thoughts we have. One thing I have learned over the past 12 months is that if I dont take responsibility for my feelings, I can never learn to control them. How would I be able to if they were not mine?... if they belonged to a situation rather than to me?
One thing I really feel I must stress is that Im not saying that it is wrong to have an emotion. It is NEVER wrong to feel something. The moment we stop feeling is the time to be concerned. I feel we should never feel guilty for being human, and to feel is to be human! But there are situations when people want certain feelings to be removed. And to do this, they must learn to take responsibility. One, of many, strategies in achieving this is to change your language. People underestimate how much changing your language can change your state of mind. So many people have dismissed the power of true speech.
Let me give you a situation Your boss one day tells you to do something, phrased as a question. You do this but it is not to their satisfaction and they tell you off for it. You may walk away feeling angry, disappointed, frustrated etc. The chances are that you will go and tell someone about this, and you may use language such as, He really pissed me off, or He really made me mad. Now with those phrases, you are giving the responsibility to the situation. And situations should be treated like children, we should never expect them to hold any responsibility. The fact is, in this situation, the boss did not make the employee feel anything. The employees feelings came from within, from themselves. They are a result of the employees reaction to the situation. Therefore, the correct language should be I got really pissed off at him or I got really mad at him. When we change our language, we start to take responsibility for our emotions, and then they are in our control. Only then can we do something about them if we wish to that is. Sometimes feeling pissed off, is not a bad thing! All feelings serve some purpose (but that is for another time!).
I have much more that I could write about this situation, but I shall leave it in this small, bitesized chunk for you to chew over.
As always, yours,
CJ5ive