Monday May 23, 2005

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And the worlds got me dizzy again.
You think after 22 years Id be used to the spin,
but it only feels worse when I stay in one place
so Im always pacing around or walking away.

Not graduating on Saturday wouldn't have been a problem.
Going to commencement anyway was.

This is never an easy time of year. Friendships forged in classes but not yet brought outside academia slip away. People graduate and leave, many of them never to be seen or heard from again. Close friends, especially this year, leave for their hometowns, in the distant burbs, as far away as Madison.

But I was supposed to be walking down that goddamn aisle on Saturday. I would have, if I were a stable person. If I hadn't fucked up so many times, in so many ways.
Instead I watched several hundred people I've lived alongside for four years do it. People I'll probably never see again.

And that hurt far more than I would have imagined.
I'm not well. I've never really pretended otherwise---except that I know, on the deepest of levels, that I will be.

Fuck it. Hey, how about this weather?
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
holy_mountain:
I know how you feel, when I graduate in a year from now i'll most likely go to grad school out of state. Most of my friends will stay in florida or they'll move across the other of the country from me. I might see them again but the visits will be far and few in between. That's how things in life work out though.
southernbelle:
Lots of SG people were met by me this weekend!!! biggrin I love it!!

I get bored a lot on the weekends (well, sometimes wink), especially when there are things I should be doing!! tongue

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