cipher

An inadvertant challenge. You'd think someone who claims to be a writer could handle touching on a few of the issues in his life without creating conflict; and yet, as with my poetry, I seem unable to transfer the contents of my head to words without creating enormous gaps, disconnects. What people read is not what I meant.

She does make me happy. Incredibly so, when I'm with her. But I can't always be with her, and when I'm back here, on this campus, this haunted, horrible place that stalks my nights, the things that drove my misery prior to her come back. Problems don't go away when you're in love. It is quite possible to be happily in love and terribly unhappy simultaneously. I've found that out these past weeks. The remarkable thing is the new energy and purpose one has to combat the problems that preceeded her. That's the miracle.

My concern is not that I spend too much time with her, but that I spend too much time here, on SG. Thus my possble absence...

oh, the misunderstandings...i feel the jackass, and yet she was so off-base. is that all the trust i get?

On a side note, goddamn the library closes early. Why the fuck can't it be open 24 a day, college students aren't in bed at midnight. Especially at midterm.
Arg. So off to Perkins with me, for a long night of studying and worrying. Where are you, girl?