cipher

NPR's Speaking of Faith has been such an incredible ally in life these past couple of years. I say this having just listened to today's program, which discussed the value of stories and mystery over fact (& how important these truly are to people) and how we deal with loss (including the idea that we should look at loss as a step, not a conclusion, and that we spend so much time focusing on our grief that we forget our own strength). It's truly a beautiful thing.

One of my life's obsessions is personal evolution. If I ever end up in a place where, looking back a year, my life and my self were essentially the same, I'd be terribly disturbed. I find myself looking back today because I've reached the one-year point of a startling milestone in my life, a relationship that began just over a year ago (why anniversaries interest me, I'll never know...they're technically meaningless, but I suppose helpful in an analytical sense).

That relationship, in the end, was a great thing for me. Yeah, it went pretty damn badly, and I acknowledge my portion of the blame for that. For that matter, I regret a great deal about how that went, and especially about how it ended. But I don't regret that it began, nor that it ended. We don't belong together, but it was an experience I needed. A year later I'm a better person, and when next the opportunity presents itself I'll be a better boyfriend.

So thank you. Thanks for teaching me the value of honesty and communication. For introducing me to the Brian Jonestown Massacre, Rasputina, etc. For the tip on dropping an egg into a pot of ramen soup. For forcing me to see myself as an attractive person.
Thank you, and again, sorry.



Also, I bloody hate Sunday homework.