cinnamon_spider

Disclaimer:

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I am currently in a complete and utter state...
this means I am totally unreliable, more so than usual...
this also means I am hardly online at the moment...
and that I am just not all that able to reply to people's comments or comment on their journals...
and it's not me being mean or selfish or anything like that...
it's me being a crazy beeyotch who really needs to get her head sorted, sooner rather than later.

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CURRENT NEWS in cinnamon-spider-land



Good news... I got my period two days ago... so I'm not pregnant.

Bad news... I got my period two days ago... so I'm not pregnant.



Good news... I get to see Mikee again tomorrow and he makes my belly go all funny and he makes me giggle

Bad news... I have to see Mikee tomorrow and that's just too hard because I don't want to be feeling the way I do about him



Good news... I've been making new friends and I love them and I've bonded so well with them and I'm having lots of fun.

Bad news... said friends have provided a perfect environment for bad habits to easily become dangerous and VERY BAD habits.



Good news... I get to finally sleep in my own bed tonight and I do love it so much

Bad news... sleeping in my own bed means I'm not sleeping in Mikee's bed



Good news... recent events have meant my metabolism has risen and my appetite has decreased so the weight is coming of, slowly, little by little

Bad news... recent events are extremely bad for me and should be stopped before I get in too deep and am not able to get out on my own without help.



Good news... Recently I've remembered how wonderfully lovely it is to sleep in a bed with someone you can cuddle up to and not have anything sexual happen at all... just sharing that space with someone you trust.

Bad news... Recently sleeping in a bed with a certain someone and doing nothing at all except cuddle and sleep, although it has been lovely, has also made me realise how terribly alone I am and even more, how lonely I am...



Good news... I like Mikee a lot, he's done a lot for me, he's accepted me, he's made me feel again, he's made me sigh in pleasure and lust and passion, he's made me laugh, he's made me feel wanted, he's made me blush, he's made me feel attractive, he's made me feel so much

Bad news... I like Mikee a lot and both of us know we can't get attached and that it's just too hard and that it cannot happen and that he especially does not want it to happen... and that's starting to rip into my heart... I can feel it starting to break already




I don't want to fall in love again.... IT'S JUST TOO FUCKING HARD!!!!!!