cindarrr

Sean, the boy I lost my viginity to came over last night, we had sex for the first time in over 4 years, it was a wierd but very enjoyable experience. At the time I guess I didn't realize the awesomness of his size, but I suppose its because I was youg and inexperienced, or maybe it was just that I hadn't seen it in such a long time. Anyway Sean has a huge, huge member. then today I went to see Josh before he goes to paducah. We had a heart to heart yesterday afternoon, I got realy upset and mushy with him, I could tell he has some feelings as well but that the thought of me having my own made him uncomforatable. I guess thats why I even let sean happen. When I went to see him today before he left I talked to him about it again, I apologozed for being so emotional yesterday, I told him about sleeping with sean (not because its an issue, we are not together and there is nothing to keep me from being with whom ever i want except my own nagging feelings) When I told him he seemed strangely saddened by it. Then I told him that it was probably a good thing that I did sleep with sean, it keeps my head on straight, it keeps things in perspective for me I explained to him, and he said yeah, we shouldn't get mushy, when you get mushy everything goes bad. I said well not neccesarily, its just not time for it right now, I have to keep things in perspective or I will become to attached to you. He said yeah I like you a whole lot, and I told him I knew, and we held eachother untill he decided it was time to make the drive to paducah. I think I might go to my mothers house tonight and sleep, spend christmas eve at her house untill its time to go to my fathers house. I'm glad every one will be busy for a few days, I am starting to get burnt out on sex, weird.