cindarrr

So I got kicked out of my dorm at 8 AM this morning due to spraying for bugs, I wasn't allowed back in untill 5 PM. So I had to call josh this morning because i had no place to stay. I called him, he invited me to come over there, but I would wait for Amy to leave, not so she wouldn't know, but because she is just as uncomforatable around me as I am around her. Anyway when josh came home on his break he told me about all the bitching that went on that morning when I called. She wanted to know why i couldn't stay at my dads house, or at my mothers. He told her that it shouldn't matter, if i called then I must need a place to stay, and she wouldn't be there anyway so why should she care. She got really pissy and left. When he came home later he was talking about moving out, which I think is a good idea, i'm not going to press for him to, he dreads having to split up their belongings. He doesn't get the paper so i clipped out the classified for him, i wonder if that is too much? Then I was talking to him about being stressed out. He doesn't really understand any of this effecting me, which maybe it shouldn't maybe I am being more empathetic than I realize. I was trying to explain it to him, that it hurts me to see him go on like this, that I do find it stressful having to walk around on eggshells, and to be around amy knowing that she hates me, even if it for no good cause since she is the one who left Josh for Will. As I was trying to explain the reasons that I would be stressing out, he said, "Boo hoo, Amy doesn't like me, thats what it boils down to" I think he realizes that that hurt my feelings, but it bothers me to think that thats wht he thinks I am going through, iots much more than that. Theres a very big difference. The difference is they have been together for five years, me and Justin were onyl together for a year and some odd months, I think of how much the though of Justin kills me, and i think aboiut him Marrying Shelly. I think about how much I hate shelly, how much I despise her. Thats how Amy feels about me. The other difference is that she did leave Josh for someone else, he didn't leave her for me, but she despises me just the same. Once they finally have thoe courage to tell everyone that they broke up, everyone will blame me, I will be thoroughly despised, because everyone knows about the group stuff. Ahhhhhhhh! I can't believe this is happening