So, my life is in a crazy place right now. I've worked at the same company for the past 4.5 years and my boss throughout that time has been nothing short of a nightmare. No people skills, no empathy, demands absolute perfection in every little thing, micro-manages every single detail of my job, rules with an "iron fist" etc - you get the idea. I've always said: "if it weren't for him, this would be the perfect job." and I meant it.
Yesterday, I got my wish. He was fired, allowed to collect his things from his desk, then was escorted off the premises. I was supposed to be on vacation all of next week, but now that he's gone, I'm the only one that can keep the servers and critical services running. Don't get me wrong here: I'm perfectly ok with losing my vacation for the chance to actually work *without* him. However, I found myself feeling bad about the situation and feeling empathy for him - the same thing that he once told me was "fucking stupid". Even though he made my life a complete hell for a number of years, I still respect him for what he has taught me. It's a difficult place for me both mentally and emotionally. Here I am, potentially being given the "keys to the castle", so I should be thrilled, right? I am, yet I'm thinking about how he truly feels that there's nothing wrong with him or how he treats/manages people. He has a wife and two kids - I think about them and hope that they will have what they need going into this holiday season. It's not their fault that he's a horrible manager. I guess that's just the empathetic, people person in me that hates to see people fail. I always hope that they can learn from their mistakes and make the necessary changes, but ego is a difficult beast to defeat.
I have some great ideas of where to take IT in the company and feel quite confident in my abilities to do so (not cocky, mind you), but at the same time, I'm terrified of the prospect. I've been a manager before and that was wonderfully rewarding. I truly enjoy helping people succeed and even if it means promoting someone above me, if they deserve it, I'm all for it. But the potential of being at the helm is a daunting task to say the least. I feel that I'm up to the challenge and am ready for this, but I will carefully analyze my predecessor's success and failure to hopefully gain what is needed to do this well and with as few hiccups possible.
Monday morning, I will be meeting with the CEO and a trusted contractor/friend to decide how we will proceed. It just so happens that my birthday is coming up on December 4th and it's a big one: 40, so I've already been taking time to think retrospectively on my life, challenges, success, failures, happy/sad times etc. Perfect timing, I'd say.
Always looking to the future, constantly analyzing the past. I can do this. I am ready.
