chuck5317

So I got the whole "I'm miserable without you, let's work it out" call the other night. Jesus, is my head spinning. I keep wanting to think that yeah, mabye things could work out and then I remember all the fucked up things and the general toxicity of the whole relationship and cringe. I also remember the whole seperation/ divorce thing as the absolute worst time in my life, and I do NOT wish to duplicate that in any form or fashion. I was just too fucked up for too damn long.

Why is it that now that I'm finally starting to get back on top again, she calls me with this? I swear, part of me just thinks that its because I'm finally realizing a life without her and it pisses her off. I try to always say good things about her (for the most part) but she can be quite manipulative at times.

I don't know, there's more to it than this, but I will spare you the excruciating details. I just had to vent and reassure myself that I'm doing the right thing by telling her thanks, but no thanks.

But other than that, life is swinging! I did call this girl tonight whose number I got thursday. I was so unbelievably drunk I don't even hardly remember talking to her. But she seemed cool I guess. It kind of scares me though. As drunk as I was when I met her coupled with the fact that I waited four days to call her and she was still excessively cool. Is that a bad sign that either a.) she's not as hot as I remember (beer goggles and all) or b.) that she has some underlying psychotic problem? Or am I just being paranoid and full of myself?

Oh well, so it goes.