So I got the whole "I'm miserable without you, let's work it out" call the other night. Jesus, is my head spinning. I keep wanting to think that yeah, mabye things could work out and then I remember all the fucked up things and the general toxicity of the whole relationship and cringe. I also remember the whole seperation/ divorce thing as the absolute worst time in my life, and I do NOT wish to duplicate that in any form or fashion. I was just too fucked up for too damn long.
Why is it that now that I'm finally starting to get back on top again, she calls me with this? I swear, part of me just thinks that its because I'm finally realizing a life without her and it pisses her off. I try to always say good things about her (for the most part) but she can be quite manipulative at times.
I don't know, there's more to it than this, but I will spare you the excruciating details. I just had to vent and reassure myself that I'm doing the right thing by telling her thanks, but no thanks.
But other than that, life is swinging! I did call this girl tonight whose number I got thursday. I was so unbelievably drunk I don't even hardly remember talking to her. But she seemed cool I guess. It kind of scares me though. As drunk as I was when I met her coupled with the fact that I waited four days to call her and she was still excessively cool. Is that a bad sign that either a.) she's not as hot as I remember (beer goggles and all) or b.) that she has some underlying psychotic problem? Or am I just being paranoid and full of myself?
Oh well, so it goes.
Why is it that now that I'm finally starting to get back on top again, she calls me with this? I swear, part of me just thinks that its because I'm finally realizing a life without her and it pisses her off. I try to always say good things about her (for the most part) but she can be quite manipulative at times.
I don't know, there's more to it than this, but I will spare you the excruciating details. I just had to vent and reassure myself that I'm doing the right thing by telling her thanks, but no thanks.
But other than that, life is swinging! I did call this girl tonight whose number I got thursday. I was so unbelievably drunk I don't even hardly remember talking to her. But she seemed cool I guess. It kind of scares me though. As drunk as I was when I met her coupled with the fact that I waited four days to call her and she was still excessively cool. Is that a bad sign that either a.) she's not as hot as I remember (beer goggles and all) or b.) that she has some underlying psychotic problem? Or am I just being paranoid and full of myself?
Oh well, so it goes.
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now I'm drunk and going to bed. coming?