God's Teeth!
It's five in the damn morning and it just came to me. For the first time ever it is all dawning on me. For those of you who know me for all of my blustering and hootenanny, for all of my over compensatory attitude, I'm actually somewhat depressive and unsure of myself fairly often. My life is shrouded with self help in an attempt enact and create some kind of self love. WTF yall? Laying here in the hotel bed I realize that I am generally an over thinking fucko. I usually weigh everything I say to you people or anyone else over some scale of "one day if I'm somebody they'll use this against me." What the fuck is that? I also have created over the years since, ohh birth, A concept of what I should be like. Well read yet athletic. Funny but not pompous. Humble yet able to fuck anything on the planet. And a host of other bullshit archetypes that don't really wind up ever being anything like me. And you know what? Fuck it. I now accept that my needs and wants are not a proper box of homagenous normality. I don't REALLY want to read all the most important books, I want to have girl friend who does and will let me read comics. I don't REALLY want to blow up my tv, I just want it to be movies and HBO shows all the time. I don't even REALLY want to be a successful stage actor all the time, lord knows I want to be a famous movie star and have 8 months of the year to do with what the fuck I want and have millions to make it happen. Most importantly I don't want to eat healthy all the time at all, I want truly good flavorful food and just have a superhuman metabolism. There's an obvious reason for the success of Pizza and the long term failure of healthy eating. It's called fried things...with cheese...and salt. And by the way most you who are female friends of mine. I probably want to sleep with you, but I know deep down you already god damn know that about me and the rest of us. Why the hell do I feel the need to keep this all at bay? Is it the blessing that keeps people being my friends? Or is it a curse that keeps me from getting what I really want? Not what I'm supposed to fucking want. There now I feel a little bit better...a little bit.
It's five in the damn morning and it just came to me. For the first time ever it is all dawning on me. For those of you who know me for all of my blustering and hootenanny, for all of my over compensatory attitude, I'm actually somewhat depressive and unsure of myself fairly often. My life is shrouded with self help in an attempt enact and create some kind of self love. WTF yall? Laying here in the hotel bed I realize that I am generally an over thinking fucko. I usually weigh everything I say to you people or anyone else over some scale of "one day if I'm somebody they'll use this against me." What the fuck is that? I also have created over the years since, ohh birth, A concept of what I should be like. Well read yet athletic. Funny but not pompous. Humble yet able to fuck anything on the planet. And a host of other bullshit archetypes that don't really wind up ever being anything like me. And you know what? Fuck it. I now accept that my needs and wants are not a proper box of homagenous normality. I don't REALLY want to read all the most important books, I want to have girl friend who does and will let me read comics. I don't REALLY want to blow up my tv, I just want it to be movies and HBO shows all the time. I don't even REALLY want to be a successful stage actor all the time, lord knows I want to be a famous movie star and have 8 months of the year to do with what the fuck I want and have millions to make it happen. Most importantly I don't want to eat healthy all the time at all, I want truly good flavorful food and just have a superhuman metabolism. There's an obvious reason for the success of Pizza and the long term failure of healthy eating. It's called fried things...with cheese...and salt. And by the way most you who are female friends of mine. I probably want to sleep with you, but I know deep down you already god damn know that about me and the rest of us. Why the hell do I feel the need to keep this all at bay? Is it the blessing that keeps people being my friends? Or is it a curse that keeps me from getting what I really want? Not what I'm supposed to fucking want. There now I feel a little bit better...a little bit.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
comics are rad, thoughtfull, art - don't let any acedemic prick tell you otherwise