chuba

i WILL NOT stop fucking around! i won't. but i will rest all weekend long in order to give my heart a break.

paintball is for hoods. that's what my mom calls bad kids. her adjective is "hoodie," which is her way of saying shady.

hope your heart is getting a break.

wtf is that song you quoted in my journal? it's from some silly movie in a funny context, but i'm totally spacing it.

thanks for the birthday luv, dude.
more soon.

x.k

awesome ice-t medley. you rule with the irony/continuity factors.

ha-ha! easy to get presumptuous and brazen like that when you're two boys together. i learned this very quickly in stripclub 101, and though it pays much less, i always did prefer working peepshows where there's a DIVIDER between each 2 men, rendering each vulnerable and utterly overpowered.

Don't fuck it up, honey. Don't cheat on her. Suck it up.

Talk about unsolicited advice. Just being real. Cuz it sounds awesome, and you're lovely AND a guy, and you're not 17 anymore . . . I'll stop now. Hate me if you must.

k, i hear you.

she's smart to lean into it (as it were) while leaning back at the same time. at practice, my softball coach used to teach us outfielders to pause when a pop-fly was hit, and to lean back on our haunches to assess where the ball was going to land before just running in. that pause was crucial. (is it just me or is this paragraph rife with all sorts of potential dirty innuendo?) sounds like she's doing a version of that . . . still, i hope the Love prevails. life's fuckin nuts, that's why. we all need it if we can get it. the end.

dude, you cracking yourself up with the emoticons is good stuff.

Ha, thanks!

my own behaviour, sometimes.

and the fact that it appears, by the looks of your journals, that i'm your sg stalker.

too emotionally exhausted to go deep, but thanks so much for your reaction to reading what i wrote. i really appreciate it. it's a good reminder to ME as well, because the body, no matter how many times it goes through a situation like that (it's happened before to a lesser degree and goddammit it COULD happen again, especially if i'm not careful to the immaculate degree, which i'm simply not), the body does not remember pain. this is why women traditionally have had more than just one child. they forget the agony, how giving birth feels like "having acid spashed on your genitals" (-ayunne halliday, one of your bretheren actors).

so yeah, it's good to remember.

are you still ?

i don't know what i am. i'm tired. i've been bitch-smacking myself around, jumping back into life too quickly and recklessly. i'm going to rest today if it kills me.

thanks for the thoughts on my column idea. still, the "cupid-arrow" of inspiration hasn't totally struck, you know? it skimmed my ear. i'm going to sleep on all this for a few more days.

meanwhile: dude, i'm so all for falling in love at impractical times. march 10th, eh? ask her if she has airies rising and a moon in leo with saturn nearbye (which means the leo part's a little strangled . . . by saturn's rings . . . if she has all that it will be hyper-creepy!)

you're such a sweetheart, sweetheart!

i always wanted to do the laser eye thing, but am testing it out on guinea pigs like you, first.

i slept ALL DAY yesterday. and all last night, for that matter. i'm still tired. but cozy.

ps - how does it feel to be so metro.

pss - i love being your street cred around here.

oh man, the whole H. L. minus shirt thing (which of course I saw) - i mean, torso=always a good thing, but the way he kissed her! peckish kissing does not work! and he kissed her that same way in the last episode, which does not bode well for a real life encounter. also, i was feeling kinda sad, cuz ever since he won the golden globe i feel like they're scrambling to make the show softer and more accessable and i fear it's loosing its teeth.

i'm way too invested in this.

what you got goin?

and: how's the guitar treating you?

i gotta get off this machine now.

you wouldn't believe the psychadelic dreams i had last night. i wish i could convey them directly.

sickday today (after "partying" last night). back to bed for lower-case k.

whatever things about stale soda you need to tell yourself to feel better about "us," darling.

some good phrases in your above description. and yes on holding moments on one's own. the need to document and even share them doesn't diminish the holding. i've learned to believe that artists are artists even if they have no means of creating. and also, of course, if they do. for me it's a way of seeing the world, first.

big yes also on thigh fucking, btw.

airoorts are full of germs and scary ppl.

as for me thankyou... for caring, so nice of you... i lova ya for it...

*edited for "lyrical" content*

what's up with your sg friends trying to give me a seizure?

and yes - understanding v. forgiveness. thanks for touching that point of clarity.

(in BED . . . )

[Edited on Feb 02, 2006 3:43PM]

maybe....