chrysea

Another day, another....ehhh...another day...heh....

For the time being, I am in a fairly decent mood. Nothing to rattle my cage just yet. I am expecting any day now my menstral cycle. I know I get super hormonal and moody the couple weeks before it, so that may have something to do with my emotions being so out of wack recently.

I have jury duty tomorrow....
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I am in a less than joyous mood this evening.

Over the past few months a lot in my life has changed. Some for the better, yet much for the worse. Though, no matter how much is changed, I suppose I have to look at it from a view point as to what it taught me.

I think picking out lessons is the only way...
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Heh...It's a battle for my emotions the past few days. Sometimes I think I will be ok, then I feel like I am going to break down and cry again.

I think I am starting to become too much of an annoyance, too. I know I obsess over things, and well, I just wasn't really given any closure with the whole thing.

I keep wanting...
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Can't sleep...Awake...Filled with self-loathing and angish. Wanna take a sharp object to my wrist, in the thoughts that that pain wont hurt nearly as much as this feeling does.

I have resolved myself into believing that it isn't that Trevor is searching for something for himself. I am convinced it was something I was missing. I just wasn't good enough. I don't care if he...
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I could count the people I have cried over on 1 hand...I cried today...actually, I'm still crying...

So, I guess I am single again. I still love you, and he still loves me...He just says he is missing something in his life and for some reason he just isn't happy. And that he knew he was treating my differently, but couldn't help it. That he...
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Here I come to save the........ah damn....

Heh...I was getting ready for beddy-bye when I was laying there and I started to smell something. It smelled as though something were burning. So, I got up to investigate. I searched the house, to no avail, and returned to my bedroom...The putrid smell was even worse than before. So I went into my mother's room and got...
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I feel so blah today...I walking around, I am sure I look depressed, but I'm not, not really. Maybe I am tired, but I don't really feel tired. I just don't really feel much of anything...I am numb....

I even have the slightest hint of a headache, but I can just barely feel it, but I know I have one.

I hate this feeling. I...
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Oh Oh...a post a post...What shall I write about this fine....eerr...rainy day...?! I know...heh...maybe...

No lovie-dovie post today. To be honest, that isn't normally my style. I just get sidetracked on occasion...heh...Don't we all...

So, I was driving back to the office after lunch today, right, and this song was on the radio, "Novacaine for the Soul" by the Eels or something like that...heh...I wasn't...
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Well here we are...Another day at work. The more I live here the more I feel I could gather the courage to go ahead and move to Jacksonville.

I finally told my mom the truth about my Jacksonville trip...hehe...She took it surprisingly better than I expected her to. There was no yelling, but she told me not to lie to her again...heh...She does want to...
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Heh...I get too obsessed with these damn journals...heh...

Anyway...I am going to have to start kicking Sampson out of bed at night. He hogs the bed and he snores...and I am just not that used to or comfortable with sharing my bed with him.

Only problem with that is if I don't let him in the room he barks and scratches at the door. I'll...
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