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chrysea

Independence

Member Since 2005

Followers 32 Following 24

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Friday Sep 09, 2005

Sep 9, 2005
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Heh...It's attack of the ex's.....AAaaAAaAAhHaahahHAhHahhHA

So, yeah, my ex before my current ex...fuck it...my exboyfriend Tommy called me last night...The one who lives in Louisiana. He's still in love with me, but I am not in love with him. Every so often he calls me, and I rarely answer the phone, but I was feeling down, so I did.

He made up some bullshit about calling because he heard a lot of the New Orleans people were transported to Kansas City...I talked to him for like a total of like 3 minutes before it was basically like, yeah I got to go.

Heh...is extremely interesting to notice the difference between Tommy and Trevor...emotionally, I mean...

Anyway, so tonight I tried to go to sleep, but couldn't, so I get up and get back on the computer...and what do you know, who signs in to msn messenger?! No other than...dun dun dun....the first.....

Now...the first wasn't an internet guy like most of the men in my life have been. I actually knew the first from real life. In fact he was my supervisor when I worked at Target.

The only other guy in my history to make me feel as miserable as Trevor has. The difference, though, is that the first...eh...Jeff...Jeff never had feelings for me.

I had feelings for him, though...I had more than just feelings for him...he was the first guy I was in love with...

I don't have feelings for him anymore....and I wont go into our long history/past, but we are still friends...I just hadn't spoken to him in forever since he started his new job.

So...we talked last night...Between IM's of me saying how much I loved and missed Trevor, he occasionally threw in his usual, you should come back to TN and have sex with me, IM's.

He also started up with the whole who was better in bed 'me or tommy' thing. I continue to refuse to answer that. Heh...I'm glad he didn't ask if who was better he or trevor, though. I can honestly say without shadow of a doubt that Trevor was the most amazing lover I have ever had. I don't just say that because I love him, and I don't just say that because he was great in bed. He was great in bed, and I do love him very much, but it was more than that.

Everything just felt so special and so right with Trevor. Even when he held me in his arms it felt amazing. Maybe he's the most amazing lover I have ever had because I am in love with him.

Oh well, I guess...I am getting tired, and I don't like thinking about the things I have lost...eerr...the 1 guy I lost that I still want so much...I'm his, and I want to stay that way...

~C~

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