chrysea

Heh...It's a battle for my emotions the past few days. Sometimes I think I will be ok, then I feel like I am going to break down and cry again.

I think I am starting to become too much of an annoyance, too. I know I obsess over things, and well, I just wasn't really given any closure with the whole thing.

I keep wanting to convince myself that eventually we will be together again. It is a possibility, he still claims to love me....I just am extremely pessimestic about the whole thing.

I should try to move on, even though right now that wouldn't be the best of ideas. What would be the liklihood that I would find someone who was just such a perfect balance of pervert and sweetheart who i happen to be very attracted to, is very smart, loves food and animals, is sexually compatible with me, doesn't snore in bed, and that I actually love sharing a bed with (and I usually hate sharing a bed with anyone), doesn't smoke, and possesses the ability to take care of himself, loves video games?

So very many qualities that I have asked for in my ideal guy, and he possessed just about all of them. Ok, so he wasn't perfect, and I always knew I wouldn't find perfect, but I didn't think I would find someone I concidered to be so damn close. And best of all, he actually loved me back...And leos and saggitarians are very compatible signs...Where was this supposed to go wrong?!

Oh yeah...the whole flaw things...He doesn't think he can be in a relationship.

I blame the fates...The love to play these games with me...Let's dangle something in front of her...let her get a good sniff, maybe even a taste then rip it away just to make her suffer....

I hate my life...I better get a better one the next go round...Kharma owes me....>sigh<

I still love you and still want to be with you Trevor....I hope very very much that someday you want me back... >kisses<

~C~