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chrysea

Independence

Member Since 2005

Followers 32 Following 24

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Friday Aug 26, 2005

Aug 26, 2005
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I feel so blah today...I walking around, I am sure I look depressed, but I'm not, not really. Maybe I am tired, but I don't really feel tired. I just don't really feel much of anything...I am numb....

I even have the slightest hint of a headache, but I can just barely feel it, but I know I have one.

I hate this feeling. I hate it more than being depressed, 'cause I never know how long it is going to last, nor do I have any idea what caused it in the first place, and 1 time, the numb dead inside feeling lastest for months.

If I were to make my assumption as to what causes it, is that I am bored. I don't have enough stimulation to keep my interested in walking around smiling. Mayhaps it has something to do with the fact that I am housesitting, and there is nothing to do, or the fact that an extrovert is being forced to spend so much time alone....

My coffee could even use a lot more creamer and sugar, but I just don't care enough to put forth the effort to do anything about it. I guess I will just drink it black and bitter...heh...

Not only has the numb feeling returned, the continual zoning out has returned, too. Granted, I zone out every so often when I am in a good mood, too, but when I feel numb and just don't care...It's like most of my days are spent not even here.

Maybe I have been thinking too much and my brain needs to recoop, or emotional overload...I don't know. I just hope it doesn't last that long.

Oh well, I guess...Until later,
~C~

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