chrysea

The new layout is interesting. I kinda like it.

I feel so sick to my stomach right now. Just because I feel so stressed out. I hope I'm not getting an ulcer, because it kind of hurts in my stomach right now as well. I try to fix things and do what I should do, but doing what I should do only makes me feel so very much worse. Yeah, maybe it is a temporary feeling like shit, but my temporary times can last a very very long time. My head is still pounding from crying so much yesterday, and I didn't sleep well. I just feel like I'm having this huge anxiety attack and no matter how much I try to control my breathing the pressure just keeps weighting down harder and harder against my chest, like I almost can't breathe.

I want this feeling to be over. It's so SO SO VERY much worse than the feelings before. I have an appointment with the psychatrist next Tuesday, but I know she wont be able to stop this aniexty. She might put me on meds, but I never wanted to go on meds. I guess you're kinda right, Trev, I'm not strong enough to handle my shit on my own.

My life is going to feel so empty now. I lost my best friend....again....The 1 person I thought might care the most about me, doesn't...